31st July 2011 The Lady And The WC

Many years ago, you couldn't count on a public toilet facility when travelling either at home or abroad. This true, short and funny story is about an English woman who was planning a trip of a lifetime to India. She had booked in to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster, but was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a lavatory or water closet (WC), so called occasionally in Britain. 

 

This rather genteel lady wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring about the WC. The school master who was not very fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC.

Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house ... a bathroom never entered their minds.

The Hilarious Reply:

Dear Madam, 

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle. 

My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost! a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time.

I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all. 

With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster.

(The lady apparently cancelled her trip)

Tags: lady, wc

Prev: 31st July 2011 Cheers!

31st July 2011 Cheers!

Those nostalgic for the endearing TV series in the 80's would be able to indulge themselves once more, in Spain anyway, some of the most popular ones like 'Upstairs Downstairs,' 'Hawaii 5. O' or the very funny sitcom 'Cheers'. But this last one they have to wait till September, as it has not yet completed the filming. And they wouldn't see Sam (Ted Dansos). The remake is produced by Plural Entertainment (Angel or Demon). The original series of CBS was one of the most talked about sitcom at it's time, and have won 28 Emmy rewards.

The American production company was quite surprised with the excellent work when they saw the pilot episode, said Carlos Martin, coordinator of scripts. All action occurs in a cosy Irish style bar although situated in a 'very Spanish' city.

 

As in the original series (11 seasons emitted till 1992), the adaptation centred the wit in the dialogue and fun in the characterization on Sam (Nico in Spain), his staff and the very colourful regular clients. It's been somewhat condensed in 26 episodes, from the bar's most brilliant moments. Like all films ever made, should it take off like a bomb, there's no reason not to make part 2, 3, 4 ...

Spain is a country of bars and most locals evolve their life in bars; there is always a good reason to go to a bar morning, noon or night, very much more so than in America. The production company, therefore, has added to the original more Hispanic-American-Latino atmosphere.

 

Another American popular series 'The Golden Girls' of that same era had also been remade here with 3 well known veteran Spanish actresses and shown recently, apparently very enthusiastically received.

 

 

Tags: goldengirls, cheers

Prev: 30th July 2011 A Fairytale For Today's Assertive Woman

30th July 2011 A Fairytale For Today's Assertive Woman

Once upon a time, on a land far away,
A beautiful, independent,
self assured princess,
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues

on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the Princess' lap
and said:
" Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome Prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young Prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night,
on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs
seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled to herself and thought:

"I don't think so!"

And W. C. Field once said:

"It was a woman who drove me to drink,

and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."

 

Tags: fairytale, woman, frog

Prev: 30th July 2011 Riddles For Giggles

30th July 2011 Riddles For Giggles

* What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?

One makes acorns, and the other makes corns ache.

* ... between a penniless man and a feather bed?

One is hard up, and the other is soft down.

* ... between an extra policeman and an England footballer?

One more bobby - and one Bobby Moore.

* ... between a letter in the post and a woman going along the road?

One is addressed in an envelope and the other is enveloped in a dress.
 

* ... between a thought, a sigh, a mink coat, and a monkey?

A thought is an idea, a sigh is 'Oh dear!', a mink coat is too dear, and a monkey is you, dear.

* ... between a glass of water and a glass of whisky?

About 2.50€.
 

* ... between a rotten husband and a rotten shot?

One hits his missus, and the other misses his hits.

* ... between a cat and a comma?

One has it's claws at the end of it's paws, and the other a pause at the end of it's clause.
 

* ... between a gossip and a mirror?
One speaks without reflecting and the other reflects without speaking.

* ... between a schoolboy studying a farmer watching his cattle?

One is stocking his mind and the other is minding his stock.

* ... between a drainpipe and a stupid Dutchman?

One is a hollow cylinder, the other is a silly Hollander.

* ... between Prince Charles and water in a fountain?

One is heir to the throne, and the other is thrown to the air.

* ... between a jeweller and and a jailer?

One sells watches, and the other watches cells.

* ... between an auction and sea sickness?

One is the sale of effects, and the other the effects of a sail.
 

* ... between a cup of tea and a magician?

One is a cuppa, and the other is a sorcerer.

Tags: riddles

Prev: 29th July 2011 Orfeo - A Lesbian Love Story?

29th July 2011 Orfeo - A Lesbian Love Story

The new operatic musical 'Orfeo', on the stage in Barcelona tonight, is going to confuse more than a few classic opera lovers. I can't exactly count myself as one although I do enjoy very much some of the more famous ones, more for the music and singing than the stories.

 

The novelty of this one converts Orfeo and Euridice into a couple of lesbian lovers. Orfeo is interpreted by a mezzosoprano disguised as a man. In this day and age, I guess nobody should feel being scandalized.

The story tells the ill-fated Euridice, just married to Orfeo, dies of a vicious snake attack. The heart wrenching lament of Orfeo touches Amore, Gods of Love, who solicits permission from Gods to send the inconsolable Orfeo down to Hell, with the objective to rescue the beloved Euridice.

 

It's more of a musical spectacle than a pure classic opera, with hints of rock, and computer generated scenes projected on the stage to add atmosphere.

Last performance on Sunday night at Peralada.

 

Tags: orfeo, lesbianlove

Prev: 29th July 2011 Sex And The Red Queen

29th July 2011 Sex And The Red Queen

Alice travels through the mirror in the 2nd part of her journey to the country of the Wonderland where she found the Red Queen. They begin to run until Alice realised that however much they run they are still in the same spot. She asked the Queen: 'What's happening?' and the Queen replied: 'In this country you have to run all you can to remain in the same place. To leave here you have to run double.' This is the evolution of the species.

 

As living beings, we live with others that sometimes harm us or may even put our life in danger. We call this infection. The organisms react, seeking out the best ways to defend themselves, but the pathogens develop and progress to overcome them. It's a race with the objective, as the Red Queen says, all the effort and changing is for being in the same spot. In an article published in 'Science', it explains an interesting experiment regarding this aspect. Conclusion: What permits the organisms to continue in the race is sex.

The experiment is done with some worms that can reproduce themselves in the sexual way, or even fertilise themselves. They have maintain the population of animals for more than 30 generations with the constant presence of bacteria. The data shows that the populations in which there are male and females they would adapt to the presence of bacteria and survive. On the contrary, the hermaphrodites are more vulnerable and the population diminishes.

 

This study, of the University of Indiana in the US, tells us that the presence of pathogens is a force of the evolution and confirms the hypothesis of the Red Queen: one has to gradually change in the gene pool to survive. It also tells us that the cost which implicates for the organisms to have both sexes, is what adapts to the changing conditions of the environment. 

One can thus conclude, that the variations which introduces sexual reproduction are essential for animals and plants changing, at least, to be in the same place as always.

Tags: redqueeen, sex

Prev: 28th July 2011 Good Night, My Angel

29th July 2011 Sex And The Red Queen

28th July 2011 Good Night, My Angel

"Good night my angel, sleep well. Papa and Mama love you very much." So murmured with tears the father of Amy Winehouse, to the lifeless body of his daughter. He must have said those words countless times to his little girl, parting her hair away from her temples, planting a kiss on her forehead, on her then warm skin, while tugging her snugly under the soft fleecy blanket on the cosy bed. That comforting ritual would have been repeated night after night to safeguard her from bad dreams.

But she grew up and the nightmares came on one unexpected point, enveloping her in heavy black clouds of dubious and false reality, and she got lost.

 

Behind steel and concrete, façades of conviction and complacence, deep down we remain children seeking a reassuring hand to grasp us, a smile of an accomplice to indulge us, or a warning in time when we are on the point of straying into the wrong path; no matter how much is in our bulging bank account, how beautiful, popular and safe we feel. We are born fragile, and die the same fragile being. The riches, the power, the security we had constructed crumble and vanish. We can take nothing of that in the transit.

At the end, all that matters is that we have loved and have been loved. The emotion and the thought that although we have been defeated by demons, for someone, at some moment, we were an angel.

 

Tags: angel, demon

Prev: 28th July 2011 Tears In The Rain

28th July 2011 Tears In The Rain

Failure doesn't exist. Not in what a lady friend refers to her life, as failure forms part of life, anyone's life. You go up, you go down, sometimes you laugh, other times you cry; you fall flat and you pick yourself up again. There's always another start, a new beginning and the best is, you might even achieve the success you desire or deserve.

Every person and everything constantly changes, you too although you might not truly realized it. It's the nature of the universe. There are cycles in life that goes on and concludes, closing up one period and opening up another, at times changing and at times transforming. There's endless access to new knowledge and information that will transform you a little at a time, continuously. One of these might just be what helps you to achieve what you have always dreamed of.

The you today are likely not the same as the you yesterday. Because it's a new day you never had before. Until you set out to live it in the fullest way you know how, you never know what might come your way. Why cry for yesterday? Good or bad yesterday is gone and done with. So, open your heart with a smile, and see what today brings. Happiness may or may not last forever, but painful moments would pass with time, like tears in the rain. Why not imitate Gene Kelly, dance instead?

 

She came into the coffee bar this morning red-eyed from crying too much yesterday, and after our coffee, croissants and the chat , she left smiling and said she's going home to pick up the pieces she left scattering in the house, dump them in the bin, and dance.

 

Tags: tears

Prev: 27th July 2011 A Kilo Of Musical Performance

27th July 2011 A Kilo Of Musical Performance

In time of crisis, solidarity measures are thought of in all variety of ways. Recently in Prat, the group of Amis Pota Blava organised the musical 'Story of a year' with the collaboration of local entities of the city. For the entrance each audience was asked to bring a kilo of non-perishable food, which will go to charities to help the hungry anywhere in the world.

 

There are all kinds of summer entertainment and live performances in Barcelona and other smaller towns, from concerts, dances, theatre plays and operas, comedies and magic shows. You don't need to bring or pay anything; all free, for locals and tourists. Some are projected onto gigantic screens, recorded hours before during the live performances in theatres or opera houses, and you watch them in public parks, sport stadiums, or, how about 'Carmen' on the beach? The passionate musical drama by Georges Bizet, performed in 2 very different places, the Barcelona Beach and in the gardens of Palau Roberts in the city centre, tonight.

In the park of the Stadium Nord is 'The mid summer night's dream' of Shakespeare, each evening until Sunday. Also free. 

 

Some years ago, in Roses where I live, I saw a wonderful ballet on the water. A stage was built specially for this, yards away from the beach, with perfect and colourful lighting, beautiful costumes, atmospheric stage set, and a full orchestra. People sat in small groups, here, there and anywhere; some of them still in swimming costumes, on on the sand or picnic sheets; drinks in hand, and why not, even some snacks.

My house too is just yards away from the beach so I could have watched the show from my widow or better still from the terrace, but I decided to join the jolly crowd at the beach, much more fun.

Tags: summer, freeperformance

Prev: 27th July 2011 The Challenge Of The Olympic Games

27th July 2011 The Challenge Of The Olympic Games

Exactly one year from today the Olympic Games 2012 will be inaugurated in London. Even most parts of the world are still in times of economic crisis, preparations have been on the go ever sin London celebrated the honour of having been selected as host for the world's biggest sports event.

For the organisers the most important and foremost concern is the budget and the security, together with the aim to create the enormous human warmth like the games in Barcelona 92, and the magnificently spectacular Games in Peking, to leave a good legacy for the future in aspects of tourism, economy, social and sports interconnection worldwide.

The magnitude of all that summed up in figures:

* 10,500 million € is the estimate to stage and run the games. In 2003 it was only of 2,690 million €, more than triplicated.

* 6.6 million tickets are on sale. More than 20 million have already been booked, but over 1 million only for the final of athletics of 100 metres.

* 70,000 volunteers would be chosen amongst 250,000 applicants.

* 17,320 beds is the capacity of the Olympic Villa, the biggest in the history, which will be converted afterwards in 3,000 apartments.

* 6 football fields is about the equivalent extension of the principal centre for the press where 21,000 professionals of the media work, coming from every corner of the world.

Tags: london, olympicgames2012

Prev: 26th July 2011 Giggles - Very Silly Q's and A's

26th July 2011 Giggles - Very Silly Q's And A's

Q. Can you drop a full glass without spilling any water?

A. Yes, if the glass is full of milk.

Q. What did the police fron say to the naughty frog?

A. Go on, hop it.

Q. What do you call an Eskimo with 12 balaclava helmets on?

A. You can't call him anything because he won't hear you.

Q. Why did the cashier steal money out of the till?

A. She thought the change would do her good.

Q. A man went swimming, and while he was in the water, all his clothes were stolen. What did he come home in?

A. The dark.

Q. What is a copy cat?

A. An Artist painting standing in front of the mirror painting a self-portrait.

Q. What's weather like when when you meet a mouse carrying an umbrella?

A. Raining cats and dogs.

Q. If sleepers are slippers and shoes are shoes, what are boots?

A. Chemist.

Q. What did the carpet say to the table?

A. I can see your drawers.

Q. There were 3 tomatoes running racing across the desert. Which one was the cowboy?

A. None. They were all redskins.

Q. Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?

A. So his head can reach his body.

Q. Why did the one-eyed bird walk across the road?

A. To get to the Bird's Eye shop.

Q. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. What's the best time to pick an apple?

A. When the farmer is asleep.

Q. What did the big candle say to the little candle?

A. I'm going out tonight.

Q. How can you stop a cock crowing at dawn on Sunday?

A. Eat him for Saturday dinner.

Q. At what time of day was Adam born?

A. A little before Eve.

Q. Why did Adam bite the Apple?

A. Because he hadn't got a knife.

Q. What does a diamond become when it is placed in water?

A. Wet.

Q. Why was the lift-attendant depressed?

A. Because his job got him down.

Q. Why was the bill-poster sacked?

A. Because he couldn't stick at the job.

Q. Two biscuits were crossing the road, when one was run over. What did the other say?

A. Oh, crumbs!

 

Tags: sillyqa

Prev: 26th July 2011 Hemingway With A Touch Of Salt

26th July Hemingway With A Touch Of Salt

Even if you haven't read any of his books, I am sure you know his name, Hemingway, the world renowned writer who, hundreds of them, had just a couple of days ago taken part in the running with the bulls (wooden ones in this case) in Key West, Florida, In some other locations in different countries too including Spain. Not himself of course as he had died 50 years ago, but his doubles, all dressed in white shirt with a red kerchief round their necks. Fun for all, the spectators, the runners, and prize for the best look-alike. Far from the same scene of the annual event in Pamplona of Spain, but certainly not lacking at least the enthusiasm. I never could fathom neither the beginning nor the continuation of this custom, for years now more of a tradition.

I admire his penetrating insight in human nature and the wonderful work that resulted, his seriousness about his creative work, quite a contrast to the fun and merry making character of his public profile. "The most important furnishing in my studio is the waste-paper bin" he used to say. Seems to be a common streak amongst some other writers too, who takes their writing very seriously. They destroy a lot of pages than the ones they keep, from which they destroy some more to get to the 1 or 2 they finally put in print.

 

Today Hemingway would have talked about the keyboard and named the 'delete' button. It's the same thing; retouch, redo, begin from the beginning again, polish, reduce, suppress ... Some writers are so obstinate that even when their work is okayed by the editor, or even when it's going into the printer, they still reserved the right to re-edit to make a definite version. Definite? Never. There's always a brush ready to sweep away the superfluous words. Good writers are like that, they chop and reduce to the minimum to express the maximum.

Another writer of 'The name of the rose' fame, Umberto Eco, is now re-writing this famous book. He said he would condense it, to make the fragments shorter, fresher and easier to understand; more accessible for the new readers of this day and age. It's era of low calorie yoghurt and saltless diets. And I thought all along that cutting short, or condensing, intensifies the flavour. 

 

Tags: salt, hemingway, writers

Prev: 25th July 2011 Automatic Shower Cabin With Massage

25th July 2011 Automatic Shower Cabin With Massage

At the end of a hard day's work, especially in summer, what we need most is a refreshing shower and, if followed by a hydro-massage after that, all the better. You just enter the shower cabin, hundreds of jets of warm water, cold if you wish, will come gushing down like rain while you watch, comfortably and relaxed, through a huge glass widow. I am talking about El Lavakan of Aste, the dog/cat automatic wash installed for pets and mascots. For their owners too of course to save them the work. Just like a car wash, after the 2 minute soapy wash, 40 seconds of rinsing, warm air will gently and repeatedly blow on your pet and dry him in 25 seconds. Done. Fresh and clean pet and happy you.

Business man Eduard Segura of Valls in Spain is the inventor, backed by his family firm with more than 2 decades experience of industrial machinery. Even though as way back as 1950, some company had patented machines with similar idea but had somehow become obsolete. He started to work on this machine 1999, consulted veterinarians and dog hairdressers, also studied old and obsolete machines so as to make sure his machine won't fail. He even enter the cabin and took a shower and came out with the verdict that it was 'very pleasant'. I guess owners of pets do have to at least go in with the pet to show him it's okay and safe, no?

 

Over the years, new technology has been incorporated, taking into consideration of the type of dog, their size and the pelage. They have sold 170 machines, for the moment, under petition, although in future they would be produced in series. Each costs 19,000€. Clients are mostly veterinaries and dog beauty saloons. And, the Spanish royal family! Queen Sofia has bought one for the many mascots of the Zarzuela Palace.

I am just thinking, it could be modified for people's showers too, then you can just sit or lay there with no work whatsoever, but I would insist on the hydro-massage as well.

Tags: showercabin, dog

Prev: 25th July 2011 The Piano-House & The Floating Opera Stage

25th July 2011 The Piano-House & The Floating Opera Stage

In the city of Hunian, China, a very unusual mansion was built specially for music lovers. The house is composed with a gigantic piano and a violin. The piano forms the mansion, and the violin is of crystal glass leaning on the piano, inside which housed the stairs to access this most original building.

Another gigantic and most striking structure is in Austria, a reproduction of the painting 'The death of Marat' by Jacques-Louis David (one of the most famous image of the French Revolution), which emerges from the Lake Constanza. The image is the principal element of the original and impressive scene where this summer the opera 'Andre Chenier' will be presented. The floating stage is presently in mid-construct; it will cost 6 million €.

 

Tags: floatingopera, pianohouse

Prev: 24th July 2011 Shooting Picasso

24th July 2011 Shooting Picasso

No doubt David Douglas Duncan's extensive experience as war photojournalist had later turned him into biographic photographer of Pablo Picasso, from 1956 till the death of the renowned artist. After all, in both cases what counted most was the of swiftness to capture the decisive and fleeting moment, unique and never to be repeated.

Both were hedonistic pleasure seekers of good life. They met in Costa Azul, sharing good times and travelling together, thus made possible the prodigious photographs, (compiled in 7 books), with astuteness the vitality and gaiety, and a touch of exhibitionist character of his model; always surrounded by friends, families or his own art pieces. In the eyes of Duncan, Picasso was authentic force of nature, a phenomenon more torrential than any war.

 

The Picasso Museum in Malaga has selected 120 of these casual snapshots (each with explanatory text); together with 50 of Picasso's paintings, creating an imaginative amalgam of art and life. Definitely one of the most stimulating exhibition this summer, titled:

'Picasso recreates - Through the camera of Douglas Duncan'

Prev: 24th July 2011 Wisdom And Observations

24th July 2011 Widsom And Observations

• Virtue is like a rich stone, best plain set.
• With virtue you can't be entirely poor; without virtue you can't really be rich. ~ Chinese proverb
• A proverb is much matter distilled into few words.
• In larger things we are convivial; what causes trouble is the trivial.
• Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.
• There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
• The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
• We talk of choosing our friends, but friends are self-elected
• It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
• A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
• The shame that arises from praise which we do not deserve often makes us do things we should otherwise never have attempted.
• The heart is half a prophet. ~ Yiddish Proverb
• Get your ideas on paper and study them. Do not let them go to waste!
• When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.

 

Tags: wisdom, observations

Prev: 23rd July 2011 Mr. Popper's Penguins

23rd July 2011 Mr. Popper's Penguins

It premièred last night in Barcelona the new comedy film Mr. Popper's penguins', from the adaptation of the novel for children written more than 70 years ago. Directed by Mark Waters, starred Jim Carrey, Angela Lansbury and Madeline Carroll.

It's about a character Tommy Popper, a successful executive, divorced and lives in a modern apartment in Park Avenue, New York. Mr. Popper lives a luxury life and is just about to become a partner of the prosperous firm where he works. Till, one morning, A surprise inheritance from his globe-trotting father – a shipment of penguins from the Antarctic arrived at his door, which caves his comfy life completely.

 

Sounds just like the kind of film made to measure for Jim Carrey. I am no fan of his, but I did enjoy one film (just like me, again can't remember the name) where he plays a dead straight and dramatic roll for a change and I liked it.

Barcelona is too far for me to go last night, but when it comes to the only cinema in Roses, I will most likely take a look. The reason? I love penguins! They always make me laugh without having to do anything silly. I think I need a man like that in my life; a bit awkward not to say complicated to live with a penguin!

Tags: jimcarrey, penguins

Prev: 23rd July 2011 Renault Twizy - My New Electric Car