Celebration & Text Codes

** Celebration ~

Jimmy takes his wife Susan to a disco on their 30th anniversary.

There's an old guy on the dance floor giving it everything - break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

Susan turns to her husband and says:

"See that guy? 30 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down for you."

Jimmy replies, "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!

He slept on the sofa that night and no breakfast waiting for him the next morning.

** Senior Text Codes ~

Jimmy didn't do that well with his smart-ass remark, but he thought some helpful texting ideas might redeem himself to win back the wife's favour like the young & cool having their acronyms in texting coding. So he made a list of these for her: ~
* ATD - At the Doctor's
* BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
* BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
* DWI - Driving While Incontinent
* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
* FYI - Found Your Insulin
* LOL - Living on Lipitor
* ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
* TOT - Texting on Toilet
* WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oiling

Hope you find these helpful, he added at the end: GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

You can probably guess what happens to him this time!

Tag:TextCodes

Current Mood: Amused

Nobel Of Peace & Scarlette

Some one was saying, not to anyone in particular, whether anybody knows when the annual Concert of Peace in Oslo will be celebrated this year. Nobody seemed to know, nor did I. But I remember the one years ago, in 2008 I think, which impressed me very much - the music, the ambience, the glittering star & celebrity attendance and, not the least, Scarlette Johansson's wit.

There were a great number of luminaries, film stars, legendary singers and celebrities in various fields attended this annual Concert of Peace, in honour of the Nobel of Peace winner, Martti Athisaari, ex-president and mediator of Finland. The Hollywood star Scarlette Johansson of the 'Vicky Barcelona' fame presented the ceremony, together with the veteran British actor Michael Caine.

The 5,000 audiences were highly entertained, not just by the brilliance of the concert, and the presence of more stars than in the sky, but also by the brief exchange of banter between Scarlette and Athisaari, which brought quite a lot of hearty chuckle, when she referred to the Nobel winner citing Woody Allen's phrase that "Optimists are pessimists in disguise". When Athisaari responded " I should discuss this with Allen " to which Scarlette said: " Better not; against Allen you have absolutely no possibility of winning!"

The Norwegian capital customarily celebrate this event every year, to make the message more accessible, as the concert is viewed by international audiences of more than 100 countries. Scarlette also added in her opening speech that mediation is the best way to avoid conflicts, possibility of which the United States had not used in recent years. Subtly put but poignant.

Tags:nobelofpeace,concert

Current Mood: Accomplished

Fifty Shades Of Grey - A Hilarious Poem By Pam Ayre

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread ...

In her left she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago.

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;

She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said:

I am a dominator!!

Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit,

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can't Tell no more;

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair

Turned fifty shades of grey!!!

 

Tags:Poem,Concert

Current Mood: Amused