The Happy Old Man

** The two farmers ~
Bud, from Texas, is on holiday in Israel and meets farmer Shlomo there. Bud asks Shlomo what he does.

"I raise a few chickens," says Shlomo. “I'm also a farmer.”
“So am I. How much land do you have?” asks Bud.
“Fifty meters in front, and almost a hundred at the back.”

Now it was the turn of Shlomo to ask a question.
“You’re from Texas, so what about your farm?" asks Shlomo.
Bud tells him, "On my farm, I can drive from morning until sundown and not reach the end of my property."

"That's too bad," says Shlomo. "I once had a car like that."

** The start of it all ~
A Rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing when life begins.

The priest says: "In our religion, life begins at conception."
The Minister says: "We disagree. We believe that life begins when the foetus is viable away from the mother's womb."

The Rabbi responds: "You are both wrong. In our religion, life begins when the kids graduate college and the dog dies."

** Happy Old Man ~
Mrs Herman from London was visiting some friends in Florida when she saw a little old man with a wrinkly face rocking merrily away on his front porch. He had a lovely smile on his face. She just had to go over to him.

“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look. I would love to know your secret for such a long and happy life.”
“I smoke four packets of cigarettes a day, drink five bottles of scotch whiskey a week, eat lots and lots of fatty food and I never, I mean never exercise.”

“Why, that’s absolutely amazing. I’ve never heard anything like this before. How old are you?”
“I’m twenty six” he replied.

Tags:happyoldman

Current Mood: Amused

Popeye The Sailor Man

Does anyone know what happened eventually with the commercial war between the United States and Europe started a few years ago, with the then 70 year old Popeye as the protagonist and the triggering factor? I knew the war started, but never heard about the ending.

I am sure most of us here are too young to know much about Popeye except the mere knowledge that he was a very well know figure in comic books. Maybe you have heard the song 'Popeye the sailor man'? The sailor who loved and worshipped spinach, believing it to be magically powerful to give a person extraordinary strength. I only remember having seen a cartoon film about him years ago and having laughed my head off. Wouldn't mind seeing it again, but haven't a clue now what it's called.

The comic serial first appeared 84 years ago, on the 17th of January 1929, by Elzie Crisler. According to the legal right of authors in Europe, Popeye had become 'common knowledge', since it had then completed 70 yeas since the author's death in 1938, Whereas in the United States, the legislation of copy right is established as 95 years. This meant that up till 2024 exists a jarring period of asymmetrical situation between the two, the world's greatest potencies.

So while the intellectual right in Popeye's birth country continues, in Europe Popeye can be used freely in anything at all, reproduced in books, plays, films, videos, games, T-shirts, toys ... or any derivation based on the character, his beloved Olive, and his other pals and woes.

The discussion, more like dispute, had already started on the Internet in 2009 and a 3rd party, King Features Syndicate, one of the most powerful that controls all comic strips published in America, and proprietor of the registered Popeye, was taking a very active part in trying to protect it's rights, with teeth and nails if necessary. After all, it's a product that generates thousands of millions in royalties and all sorts of market worthy byproducts. Like the tinned spinach, Popeye's favourite food. (not to forget that, in the 30's, the slang for marihuana was 'spinach'). Wimpy's hamburger, even the military vehicle the 'Jeep', are based on some of the characters of the comic strip.

No doubt there had been lots of reports about it somehow, not by design, I managed to miss it all. Not that I am interested much about the outcome. Personally, all I want is to take another look at that funny animated film again.

Tags:spinach,Popeye

Current Mood: curious

Samurai & The Honeymooers

** Morris, the Samurai ~
There once was a powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai. So he put up posters throughout the land saying he was searching for a new chief Samurai. But after 2 months, only 3 Samurai applied for the job, a Japanese, a Chinese, and Morris. So he interviewed all three.

The emperor first asked the Japanese to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai. The Japanese opened a little silver box and out flew a little fly. Whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in two pieces. The emperor was impressed.

The emperor then asked the Chinese to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai. The Chinese opened a small pearl box and out flew a smaller fly. Whoosh, whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in four pieces. The emperor was very impressed.

Then the emperor asked Morris to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai. Morris opened a small gold box and out flew a wasp. Whoooooossshhh, whoooooossshhh, whooooooossshhh, went Morris's sword, but the wasp was still alive and buzzing around the emperor.

The emperor was very disappointed and asked Morris, "After all your sword play, why is the wasp not dead?"

Morris replied, "A circumcision is never intended to kill."

** The Honeymoon ~
Isaac and Sarah got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, Sarah immediately telephoned her mother Leah.

"Well," said Leah, "how was the honeymoon,darling?"
"Oh mum," Sarah replied, "the honeymoon was fantastic. It was so romantic, and ..and..."

Then Sarah started to cry. "Oh mum, as soon as we got back, Isaac started using terrible language. He said things I'd never hoped to hear, all those 4-letter words. Please mum, get into your car now and come and take me home."

"Calm down, darling," said Leah, "tell your mother what could be that awful. Don't be shy, tell me what 4-letter words Isaac used."

"Please mum, I'm too embarrassed to tell you, they're terrible words. Just come and take me away." said Sarah.

"But bubeleh, you must tell me, you must tell me what the 4-letter words were."

Still crying, Sarah replies, "Oh mum, he used words like WASH, COOK, IRON, DUST, ..."

Tags:samurai,honeymoon

Current Mood: Amused

One - A Short Poem

~~~~~~~
One minute makes a difference
When running for the train.
One car will change your day
If you're in a crowded lane.

One sentence works a wonder,
If it's needed to be heard.
One deed brings a person light,
As does one kindly word.

One meal is often missed,
One crime means doing time,
One shoe is always searched for,
As is, at times, one dime.

But the greatest One of all,
Be it parent, teacher, friend,
Is the one with you when you're down;
Beside you to the end.

Tag:One

Current Mood: Artistic