23rd June 2011 Giggles - The Library, The Discussion, And The Cupboard

The Library ~

 

'What time does the library open?' the man on the phone asked.

'Nine a.m.' came the reply. 'And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?'

'No! Not till 9 a.m.' The man said, sounding disappointed and upset.

'Why do you want to get in before 9 a.m.?' The librarian asked.

'Who said I want to get in? The man sighed sadly. 'I want to get out!'

 

The Discussion ~

 

Three friends are discussing what is the fastest thing in the world.

The 1st says: I think it's the lightning. It falls from the sky so quickly you don't have time to see it.'

The 2nd says: 'I think it's the electric light. You touch the switch and the light comes on instantly.'

The 3rd says: 'I know something else quicker and faster than lightning or light.'

His 2 friends ask: 'And that is ...?'

'Diarrhoea. One night I was in the field and my stomach suddenly turned violently. I ran home in lightning speed and immediately switched on the light; too late, it's done.'

 

The Cupboard ~

A woman bought a cupboard from Ikea, the cheap type that comes in pieces and you have to mount it up yourself. She did a perfect job of it, but she lives right above the railway track and, when the train passed her house, the cupboard she had made up fell apart. She did it again and it fell again with another train passing.

 

She phoned the shop and asked for help and they sent her a technician/carpenter. But the same thing happened to him too. So he said to the woman: 'Now I will mount it up again and enter inside myself to see which is the weak part that falls when the train passes.' So he did just that, got inside the cupboard and waited. But before the train comes, the husband came home. He praised his wife for a wonderful job building the cupboard. He opened the door to look inside and was surprised to find the technician.

'What are you doing there?' The husband yelled at him obviously very angry.

 

'Well sir, if I tell you that I am not here fooling around with your wife, but was actually waiting for the metro train, you probably won't believe me!'
 

Tags: cupboard, library

Prev: 23rd June 2011 Mental Imbalanced Explained - Sort Of ...

23rd June 2011 Mental Imbalance Explained - Sort Of ...

A lady acquaintance of mine told me that her husband had just been diagnosed of suffering from mental imbalance, whether that means the same as dementia or not I have no idea. So I checked it up, and found that there are 6 factors that could lead to mental imbalance. None of these would help him now that he has got it, but it might help others to be aware what might cause it ...

 

1. Living in the city - 8.63% of urban-dwellers in Spain have had some mental problems according to last year's figures. While the figures of people living in the country is 7.5%.

 

~ This is to me more obviously understandable, not so much the following factors. 

 

2. Being widow/widower or divorced (nothing to do with the above mentioned husband) - 43.1% of widowed and 29.6% divorced suffer psychological disorder, while the percentage of couples is 16.8% only.

 

~ Stay married, you probably suffer lots of headaches, hoarse voice for arguing so much, or even an occasional black eye, but no mental imbalance.

 

3. Depression and disorder of alimentation are more common in women, with 71% and 91.26% respectively, while men commit suicide 3 times more, also more problems with alcohol and drugs.

 

~ The figures are alarming! What one gets told here is that women worry so much about their shape, they alternate eating nothing with binges, so weights go up and down like a Yo-Yo causing depression, while men are cowards who, when incapable of confronting or solving problems, indulge in alcohol and drugs, when that got out of hand, kill themselves. Aren't their sane and sensible men and women about? 

 

4. The climate - According to science of meteo-psychiatry (I have never even heard this term before), the frequency of psychiatric alterations is more severe in Nordic countries than in the Mediterranean areas.

 

~ What I wish to know is why. There's a periodic strong wind called 'Tramontana' in Catalunya where I live and, nearly always without hardly any exception, I get a nasty headache, even before the wind actually starts. As if I could forecast it. Why should that be?

 

5. Education - People of higher level of social-culture tend to suffer certain type of disorders related with anxiety, self guilt and depression. While the ones with lower level, is associated with symptoms of schizoid or paranoids.

 

~ I supposed that means I got a middle education maybe. Certain aspects in my life can be said in slight disorder, but there are periods when everything is in perfect order; occasionally anxious or depressed about something, but also capable of letting my hair down, throw caution to the wind, and be utterly crazy like a March hare.

 

6. Unemployment - 70% of the mental patients are unemployed, according to statistics.

 

~ How clever this conclusion. How can these people work if they are not mentally balanced? Are they unemployed because of the sickness? Or do they become sick because  they are unemployed?

 

Tags: mentalimbalance

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