26th July 2011 Giggles - Very Silly Q's And A's

Q. Can you drop a full glass without spilling any water?

A. Yes, if the glass is full of milk.

Q. What did the police fron say to the naughty frog?

A. Go on, hop it.

Q. What do you call an Eskimo with 12 balaclava helmets on?

A. You can't call him anything because he won't hear you.

Q. Why did the cashier steal money out of the till?

A. She thought the change would do her good.

Q. A man went swimming, and while he was in the water, all his clothes were stolen. What did he come home in?

A. The dark.

Q. What is a copy cat?

A. An Artist painting standing in front of the mirror painting a self-portrait.

Q. What's weather like when when you meet a mouse carrying an umbrella?

A. Raining cats and dogs.

Q. If sleepers are slippers and shoes are shoes, what are boots?

A. Chemist.

Q. What did the carpet say to the table?

A. I can see your drawers.

Q. There were 3 tomatoes running racing across the desert. Which one was the cowboy?

A. None. They were all redskins.

Q. Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?

A. So his head can reach his body.

Q. Why did the one-eyed bird walk across the road?

A. To get to the Bird's Eye shop.

Q. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. What's the best time to pick an apple?

A. When the farmer is asleep.

Q. What did the big candle say to the little candle?

A. I'm going out tonight.

Q. How can you stop a cock crowing at dawn on Sunday?

A. Eat him for Saturday dinner.

Q. At what time of day was Adam born?

A. A little before Eve.

Q. Why did Adam bite the Apple?

A. Because he hadn't got a knife.

Q. What does a diamond become when it is placed in water?

A. Wet.

Q. Why was the lift-attendant depressed?

A. Because his job got him down.

Q. Why was the bill-poster sacked?

A. Because he couldn't stick at the job.

Q. Two biscuits were crossing the road, when one was run over. What did the other say?

A. Oh, crumbs!

 

Tags: sillyqa

Prev: 26th July 2011 Hemingway With A Touch Of Salt

26th July Hemingway With A Touch Of Salt

Even if you haven't read any of his books, I am sure you know his name, Hemingway, the world renowned writer who, hundreds of them, had just a couple of days ago taken part in the running with the bulls (wooden ones in this case) in Key West, Florida, In some other locations in different countries too including Spain. Not himself of course as he had died 50 years ago, but his doubles, all dressed in white shirt with a red kerchief round their necks. Fun for all, the spectators, the runners, and prize for the best look-alike. Far from the same scene of the annual event in Pamplona of Spain, but certainly not lacking at least the enthusiasm. I never could fathom neither the beginning nor the continuation of this custom, for years now more of a tradition.

I admire his penetrating insight in human nature and the wonderful work that resulted, his seriousness about his creative work, quite a contrast to the fun and merry making character of his public profile. "The most important furnishing in my studio is the waste-paper bin" he used to say. Seems to be a common streak amongst some other writers too, who takes their writing very seriously. They destroy a lot of pages than the ones they keep, from which they destroy some more to get to the 1 or 2 they finally put in print.

 

Today Hemingway would have talked about the keyboard and named the 'delete' button. It's the same thing; retouch, redo, begin from the beginning again, polish, reduce, suppress ... Some writers are so obstinate that even when their work is okayed by the editor, or even when it's going into the printer, they still reserved the right to re-edit to make a definite version. Definite? Never. There's always a brush ready to sweep away the superfluous words. Good writers are like that, they chop and reduce to the minimum to express the maximum.

Another writer of 'The name of the rose' fame, Umberto Eco, is now re-writing this famous book. He said he would condense it, to make the fragments shorter, fresher and easier to understand; more accessible for the new readers of this day and age. It's era of low calorie yoghurt and saltless diets. And I thought all along that cutting short, or condensing, intensifies the flavour. 

 

Tags: salt, hemingway, writers

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