15th Dec 2011 Upgraded Boyfriend To Husband, But ...

S.O.S. Mail To Tech Support ~

Dear Tech Support,

Some time back I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0. What I have noticed is a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications, which had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as Sport 7.3, NFL 3.2 and Tennis 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Your faithfully,

Desperate Susan

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Reply from Tech Support ~

Dear Desperate Susan,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly. WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Home Cooking 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5.

Finally consider applications such as Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware)

Good Luck,

Tech Support

Tags: boyfriend, husband, upgrade

Prev: 15th Dec 2011 The Fish That Walks & The European Crisis

15th Dec 2011 The Fish That Walks & The European Crisis

The phenomenon that, all of a sudden, some sea creatures abandon the sea and started to walk or crawl on land is, according to experts, but a fundamental & natural evolution of life. Most of us, I dare say, know little or nothing how & why this happens.

A team of investigators of the University of Chicago, however, had just discovered a fish that walks. It's the 'Lungfish'. I have never even heard of the name. It's apparently a formidable creature capable of emerging from the mud from certain hot springs and propel itself forward walking towards land, with the help of it's 2 small pelvic filaments.

The United Europe seems to me to be doing the same, struggling and striving to get above troubled water, but with a difference: The fish can breathe under water in the sea, and continental institution is getting close to drowning if not achieve reaching the land. The problem is that the European pelvic filaments don't seem to be as powerful as the Lungfish.

Ms. Merkel once again raised above the pitch of lead weight pushing us to hit bottom. Herman van Rompuy assured yesterday morning that in March it will revise the top amount of 500,000 million € of the European Rescue Fund, but the Chancellor hastened to deny it and the investors acted consequentially. The Market immediately dropped.

The fish surely didn't leave the sea to take a walk on land; they were trying to escape from their predators.

Tags: europe, lungfish

Prev: 14th Dec 2011 Who Is The Boss?