3rd Sept 2011 How To Translate Academic Jargon

When you next read an academic paper, make sure you have this handy guide by your side.

1. "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN" ... I didn't look up the original reference.
2. "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT" ... These data are practically meaningless.
3. "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS" ... An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.
4. "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY" ... The other results didn't make any sense.
5. "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN" ... This is the prettiest graph.
6. "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT" ... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
7. "IN MY EXPERIENCE" ... Once.
8. "IN CASE AFTER CASE" ... Twice.
9. "IN A SERIES OF CASES" ... Thrice.
10. "IT IS BELIEVED THAT" ... I think ...
11. "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT" ... A couple of others think so, too.
12. "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE" ... Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
13. "ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS" ... Rumour has it.
14. "A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS" ... A really wild guess.
15. "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA" ... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.
16. "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS" ... I don't understand it ... and I never will.
17. "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES" ... They don't understand it either.
18. "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY" ... A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
19. "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD" ... I am pleased to feed you this rubbish.

 

Tags: acardemicjargon

Prev: 3rd Sept 2011 Fun Facts & Fascinating Trivia On China

3rd Sept 2011 Fun Facts & Fascinating Trivia On China

I guess not all of you know that ...

• China has more English-speaking inhabitants than England.
• The Mandarin word for China is Zhongguo which translates as "middle country", implying China is the centre of the world.
• Ice cream was invented in China around 2,000 BC when the Chinese placed a milk and rice mixture in the snow.
• Did you know that it is considered quite rude to blow your nose in public?
• When a Chinese child loses a baby tooth, it doesn't get tucked under the pillow for the tooth fairy. If the child loses an upper tooth, the child's parents plant the tooth in the ground, so the new tooth will grow in straight and healthy. Parents toss a lost bottom tooth up to the rooftops, so that the new tooth will grow upwards, too. Cheaper than in the West say Will and Guy!
• A complete cycle of the Chinese calendar takes 60 years.
• It is considered good luck for the gate to a house to face south.
• The most common surname in Beijing is Wang.
• China was the first country to invent gun powder and fireworks and also use gun powder for guns, rockets and other arms.
• China's number of listed languages totals approximately 206.
• 400 million Chinese people are under 18.
• The Great Wall of China is one of the Seven Wonders of the World and is indeed great because it can be observed by man even from outer space. This wall measures more than 1500 miles in length and is also referred to as the "Ten Thousand Li Wall" with each Li being equivalent to 500 metres.
• Tree hugging in China is strictly forbidden.
• Chopsticks originated from, and were used by, the Chinese people approximately 4,000 years ago.
• China's money is called renminbi, meaning the "people's currency".
• When you write your name in China you put your family name first then your first name.
• Did you know that 20th September is National "Love Your Teeth Day" in China?
• In 550 AD, two Chinese monks smuggled silkworms out of China and started the western world's silk boom.
• China's consumption of Coca-Cola is not trivial, in fact, they are the world's largest imbiber.
• Acupuncture treats illnesses with inserting sharp thin needles in various pressure spots, it originated over 5,000 years ago in China.

 

Tags: trivia, facts, china

Prev: 3rd Sept 2011 More Chinese Proverbs & Silly Q's and A's

3rd Sept 2011 More Chinese Proverbs & Silly 's and A's

Chinese Proverbs ~

• Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
• A life with love is happy; a life for love is foolish.
• War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
• A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
• Three humble shoemakers brainstorming make a great statesman.
• Visiting monks give better sermons.
• He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
• An ambitious horse will never return to its old stable.
• A conversation with a wise person is worth of ten years' study of books.

Q's & A's ~

* How did an embarrassed panda get mistaken for a newspaper?
They are both black and white, and red all over!

* What's purple, 10,000 km long and 12m high?
The grape wall of China.

* Where can you always find a tiger's head?
Four foot from his tail.

* How much does a Chinese restaurant weigh?

Won Ton

Tags: chineseproverbs

Prev: 3rd Sept 2011 The House Of Pinocchio

3rd Sept 2011 The House Of Pinocchio

In the Gothic district of Barcelona, situated in a narrow alley lane, is an artist, Teresa Travieso, who has been there everyday in this little shop called 'Casa de Pinocho (House of Pinocchio), for 40 years. She makes puppets, simple hand puppets, and very elaborate full solid figures that, with clever articulation, move, walks talk, sing (with voice given by the handlers of course), dance and perform intriguing acrobatics.

Not that she makes only Pinocchio puppets as the shop name implies, but all popular cartoon or comic figures, Disney film heroes and heroines, or animals ... in fact just about any type of any creatures. What was originally a hobby had turned to be a life long profession, with a huge and varied list of clientèle, nearly as many foreigners and tourists as local Spaniards, many coming from far off corners of Spain. In the recent years, she accepts commission to make anything a client wants; you only have to send her a photo of yourself, a family member, a friend, even the household cat; then wait for the completed puppet by post.

They are made of wood, Papier mâché (construction paper product, paper pulp mixed with flour and water, used for modelling), remnants of cloth, wires, acrylics & óleo, but the puppets look so alive!

I think I should like to have one in the image of me, then I can make it express or act out all the suppressed sentiments, fantasies, desires and wicked thoughts to amuse myself, to show how ridiculous or clever I sometimes am. Sort of self examination, confronting my own demons or awarding myself for something well done. Buy the puppet is easy, but the required skill necessary to turn it into a 'living' mini-ME is quite a challenge, not to say impossible!

Footnote: Her surname, Travieso means Naughty or Mischievous in Spanish. Apt!

Tags: pinocchio, puppets

Prev: 2nd Sept 2011 Brain-Teaser - Face Hunting