The Green Hat

A man came in the cafe this morning and sat at a table next to mine. Even I was flipping a magazine at the time, he had immediately captured my attention. No he wasn't good looking or had any physical peculiarity. It's the green hat he was wearing, and also a T-shirt, one of those that carry weird messages or declarations printed on the chest front. His says 'I am a damned fool', big in size and loud in colour, in Chinese. The text by itself wouldn't have drawn my attention; I have seen much more ridiculous, absurd or silly ones. But together with the green hat, it would have made all Chinese laugh out loud, and wink or gesture to their companions.

To tell you why I need to first tell you a little story, not exact story perhaps, but the significance of the green hat in Chinese culture. Not exactly culture either; let's say a rather deep-rooted black humour, the origin of which is even more absurd than it's century old belief. Briefly It's about a turtle whose wife had many lovers. The foolish and gutless husband turtle took to covering himself with the large green leaf of the banana tree, so he didn't have to witness the painful scenes of his wife's infidelity. With that any Chinese would rather die first before he would wear a green hat. It also follows logically the insult that a man would be called a turtle, the one that prostitutes his wife.

Now back to the man with the green hat. I don't know his nationality but quite sure he is neither Chinese nor Spanish. In theory his green hat, or rather his willingness to wear it, matters not at all anywhere else except in China. Adding the loud self proclaimed message of 'I am a damned fool', to me anyway, it's funny. Even though I don't believe in that ridiculous fable of the turtles.

I was tempted to tell this guy the story and the meaning of the message in Chinese. He most likely didn't even know the significance of either. But then what if he did but chose to ignore it or be defiant or unique? I decided to say nothing.

I have always found it odd that so many people like the kind of shirts with crazy messages on. Especially the ones with extremely vulgar statements. I think they ought to know the meaning of the text when it's in a foreign language, to avoid making a real fool of himself in certain environment.

Tags:greenhat,turtle,fool

Current Mood: Blah

How I Miss My Exwife! - My Fiction Story

It was more or less 8 O'clock in the afternoon on a summer day, with the setting sun over the horizon at the beach, still warm and brilliant. I was in my Hawaiian Bermudas, a bar T-shirt, and a straw hat. I was completely unpresentable, unshaven and with a hangover. Truth is I was a bit reluctant to appear in front of my only suspect like this. An antithesis of a private detective.

A couple of hours ago my friend Joan called to offer me a case. Since I installed myself in L'escala, I have not had any serious case in hand, apart from the one of the missing rowing oars months ago, when things were beginning to turn ugly. Clearly, to establish a detective agency in a quiet coastal town is destined for failure. Like George Michael's disc 'Listen without prejudice'.

My ex-wife reminded me just 2 days ago that I was 2 months behind the payment owed to her when she called 'reverse charge', and added several out of fashion insulting curses. "I have been very busy, Claudia," while I switched off the porno video. "Besides I got piles of bills here to sort out" crumbling noisily the pizza wrapper.

She finally hung up, but not without the threats to have me kicked out of my place first. Her called made me sad, and I began to miss her, including things about her that exasperated me most. The noises she made when she chewed on food, the way her dress is badly wrinkled and sometimes with the zip only half done up. The smell of her feet.

Putting on my only pair of socks, I decided to go out and earn some money, quick. Then I took them off and thought maybe I could wait just a day or two more. That's when Joan called me. " don't Don't even dream of it, pal. You know I never work in August. (Translation: I am desperate, any case will do)

"Don't you do that to me. You are the 1st one I thought of. Only you can do it. (Translation: All the good detectives are on vacation. You are my last hope)

I accepted. This time it's not about a little boy gone missing. A group of local Habaneras (Fishermen singers of ballads) has been assassinated. Their bloody striped shirts were found with the singers in them, where they were rehearsing. At the crime scene an accordion was found, Juan's.

"You know already that everybody was pointing his finger at you lot, Juan, the competition group" I said. Juan was puffing and blowing. "But I told you I have alibi."

What am I supposed to do, I asked him. He didn't know. Frankly I didn't either. Suddenly I remembered the smell of the hand cream of my ex-wife, even her feet. How I wished then I was back at our home, me in the couch watching football, waiting for her to come home after her work as a cleaner (fancily called 'Domestic assistant' these days) to make me dinner.

Tags:detective,exwife

Current Mood: Amused