Wisdom Of Larry The Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off..
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of * jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

* jalapeños: small red or green peppers, very hot.

* Daniel Lawrence, best know by his stage name & character Larry the cable guy. American stand-up comic & actor.

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Story Of A Plaster Cast

Juan Segundo is 66 years old and it's the first time in his life that he travelled in an airplane, from Santiago of Chile to Barcelona. His left leg was plastered from just below the knee down to his foot. No sooner had he came out of the security check, he was 'invited' by the National police to step into a cabin of identification at the airport, El Prat of Barcelona. His is the story of a vagabond that one fine day, out of the blue, somebody offered him a fee to make a trip, fare paid for, to wear the plaster cast on his leg. This was not ordinary cast made of plaster, but of cocaine. Now he doesn't have to sleep in the open street but in the penitential institution . The police who stationed at the airport watching out for what's called the 'hot flights', those that arrive at El Prat precedent of world location points exporting drugs, immediately fixed their vigilant eyes on this man in a wheelchair, in an ill fitting suit, no visa and his passport was issued just days before his departure from Chile. When asked some routine questions about his trip his answers were hesitant and incoherent. When he was taken to another room for further inquiry, he himself offered that he was also given a small suitcase, which the police also noticed to be strange, as it was too small for normal long distance travel. An examination revealed that this case too also contain drugs. They applied drug test spray and the plaster cast he wore showed blue blotches, clear indication of pure cocaine, not hidden as often does between a cast and the skin, but on the cast itself. When the police broke off his cast, the man screamed. He had a very badly infected leg, which should never have been encased in any plaster, but required immediate surgery, having been broken by the people who made him carry the drugs! Apparently they are using more and more homeless people, old and weak in appearance, to soften the police at the passport control point.     It's more than just drug trafficking, it's a real life horror story. Tags:horror,plastercast