Sunday, 22 January 2012

22nd Jan 2012 Things You Can Only Say At Christmas Or Thanksgiving

Jan 22A
... In fact things I always avoid saying, at Christmas or not!

1. I prefer breasts to legs.

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.


3. Smother the butter all over the breasts!


4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!


5. I've never seen a better spread!

 

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15.. How long will it take after you put it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang ...

18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning


Prev: 22nd Jan 2012 Ads By Seniors Seeking Companion

22nd Ads By Seniors Seeking Companions

Jan 22
Some 'Senior' personal ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humour?)

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and a belt is a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem

SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy .

BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
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