Monday, 26 December 2011

26th Dec 2011 How They Forecast A Cold Winter

Dec 26A

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2011/12 was going to be cold or mild. The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes. 

 

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter. However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief. Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood. 

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked. 'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.
As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find. 

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
 
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked. Christmas Funny Stories and Jokes
The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'

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26th Dec 2011 Sarcasm Can Be Funny

Dec 26
  • Vegetarian: Native American definition for "lousy hunter".
  • The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong maybe you'd get a pulse.
  • The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
  • 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
  • Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin and if that doesn't change soon I'm gonna divorce her.
  • Alcohol is not the answer it just makes you forget the question.
  • The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
  • Only dead fish go with the flow.
  • For every action there is a corresponding over-reaction.
  • It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
  • What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  • Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
  • Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
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