Mirror Mirror ...

** Try Before You Buy

Myra was going to the office party but needed a new party dress.

In the clothing store she asked, 'May I try on that dress in the window, please?'

'Certainly not, madam,' responded the salesgirl, 'You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.'

** Mirror Image

On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be'.

Unable to decide, Nathan entered in a department store and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, 'How about some perfume?' She showed him a bottle costing £75.

'Too expensive,' muttered Nathan. The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for £50.

Oh dear,' Nathan groused, 'still far too much.' The sales girl brought out a tiny £10 bottle and offered it to him.

Nathan became really agitated, 'What I mean,' he whined, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap.'

Growing rather annoyed at Nathan's meanness, the sales girl handed him a mirror.

Tags:Perfume,Mirror

• Current Mood: amused

Not Just Some Mothers; The World Is Full Of Them!

** On the wall in a public ladies' room ...

"My husband follows me everywhere!"

Just below that ...

'No I don't!'

** A man in the metro is walking and laughing all the way towards the train. A woman is at first curious then becoming a bit nervous. She asked him:

'What's the matter Mr.? Are you all right?' The man answered:

'I pulled one over the tiller, bought a return ticket from her, but I am not going to return, haha!

** A blind man walks into a store with his seeing-eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asked: 'What are you doing ?!!'

The blind man replies: 'Just looking around.'

** 'Paco, does your wife scream a lot when making love?'

'She sure does. I could hear her from the bar at the corner of the street'

** The director of the Asylum said one day to the interns 'Anyone who can tell me how many is 6 times 6 will get a nice prize.'

One said: '1,000'

Another called out: 'Tuesday.'

And another said: 'Thirty six.'

The director was very pleased, and surprised. He asked: 'Tell me, how did you get that figure?'

'I divided 1,000 by Tuesday.'

** Four men are delivering a piano to the top floor of a building. They were exhausted after a few flights of stairs, and one asked another to go and check how many more flights remaining. The guy returns and says there are 2 bad news to this. So the first man said never mind, just tell how many floors more to go up first. Tell the other when we are there.

'Six flights more' the guy said and all of them struggled their way up to the top. Once there, the first guy said. "Now what's the other bad news?"

"It's not the right building."

Tags: asylum, piano

• Current Mood: amused

The Queen And Her Tailor

The economic crises has begun to affect Queen Elizabeth the second of England as well now. But no need to worry, she doesn't need to sell the crown jewels or the Royal Castle of Balmoral. Only that a while ago her personal dress designer for more than 4 decades is going bankrupt.

Just like investment banks, her tailoring firm, Hardy Amies of Savile Road was over ambitious with imprudent expansion in Britain and Japan, stretching their arm more than the sleeve was tailored for, and now found itself facing a problem of shortage of ready funds. The situation might have to end in suspension of payments and bankruptcy.

The long established and prestigious firm has been sliding downhill since the retirement then the death of it's creator Hardy Amies. The news didn't surprise the high fashion world of Britain. Their designs are considered by many to be too conservative which, while correct, exquisitely tailored and finished, do not go down well with the new age mature ladies any more. Today the ladies in their 60's or 70'd have discarded the former dress-codes, and adopted fashions for the younger women. They do not want to dress to look like the Queen, but more incline to follow models worn by women shown in 'Sex in New York'. Or is it 'Sex in Manhattan'? The 21st century is not a world for the old, at least not in their appearances or actions.

Hardy Amies worked as a British spy in the 2nd World War and helped to organize the resistance in Europe. In 1946 founded the firm in Savile Road, for men at first but later expanded the horizon. Six years later The Queen gave her first order and this led to over 4o years of patronage as her principal dress designer. This of course added greatly to his prestige and fame. He soon became a much sought after designer for the British elite, the noble, the aristocratic and the high society, including many overseas celebrities.

His creations called up images of Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Onassis and for the past half a century he boasted amongst his clientèle: Lady Heseltine, Lady Parkinson, the famous film director Stanley Kubrick and other Hollywood giants. He had also designed uniforms for the British rowing team of Oxford University, as well as the British football team who won the World Cup in 1966.

The economic crisis worldwide doesn't seem to have affected Her Majesty much, although her recent request to the Treasury to increase the Royal housekeeping had been turned down. The Queen had, for the first time 4 years ago, bought a private plane, costing 8.8 million €. for the exclusive use of the royal family. It's equipped with every detail of comfort and elegance, with capacity for 13 people. Where do her dogs go?

Tags:Queen,Tailor,Bankruptcy

• Current Mood: calm