Dear Abby ...

Dear Abby,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs. phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'just some friends from work, you don’t know them.' I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or shouldI take it back to the golf shop where I bought it?

Thanks, Jim

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**Another Batch of 'Dear Abby' Letters**

*Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything, and then said it would never happen again.

*Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. Now I've seen it, how do I get out?

*Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

*Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

*Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered; I think she is going through mental
pause.

Tag:DearAbby

Current Mood: Amused

I Am Going To Be A Bear

I'm Gonna be a Bear.

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, I'm gonna be a bear!

Tag:Bear

Foreign Aid

Foreign aid might be defined as

a transfer of money

from poor people in rich countries

to rich people in poor countries.

 

The red dress is not Valentino Bernard; can't afford him any more!