Sunday, 8 January 2012

8th Jan 2012 Some Very Humourous Church Signs

Jan 08B
The Best Witty and Funny Church Signs ~

Sin Refunded
  • Notice in a church parking lot. 'Trespassers will be baptised'. Church Salvation.
  • If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
  • Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
  • How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?
  • Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily.
  • No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.
  • Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!
  • When the restaurant next to a chapel put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the chapel reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
  • Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
  • In the dark? Follow the Son. 

8th Jan 2012 Age Of Man & Dog

Jan 08Jan 08A
In a tiny corner of an English paper the title of a short article drew my attention; it read: 'The oldest dog in the world died at the age of 125'. I was incredulously surprised. I know something about dogs because I love them and had once lived with 13 all at the same time. I never imagined a dog could live through the 19th, 20th and 21st century!

It soon dawned on me that it must be of that man-made calculation of each dog year equals 4 or 5 of that of man, or something like that. This dog in the print was Japanese. That might have explained part of the wonder, as Japanese people, women especially, often present the very notable longevity of life, due to their very healthy and regular diet of little meat, but much vegetables, Tou Fu, seaweeds and fish. The article cleared up the mystery in 4 short lines. This dog, in the locality of Sakura, had died at the age of 26 after a sudden illness.
 
According to the Guinness Book of Records, the oldest dog recorded was Australian, died in 1939 at the age of 29; that is, 29 real years. I began to try to imagine how such an old dog, 26 or 29 look like? Would they be very much the same as when they were 15? Experts would surely think my question stupid, obviously they won't look the same, but I am no expert to tell a dog's age, except by their energetic, or lethargic, strides or desire to play; whether they respond to your commands rapidly, eagerly, or comply reluctantly, or ignore your orders all together.

It's much easier to guess the age of human, Men that is, I can tell fairly accurately, within 3-5 years range, whether he is 30 or 40 or 50. Women though, are very hard to guess accurately. To play safe or not to offend, I always deduct about 5 years less than what I actually think, should I be cornered into playing the guessing game. I hate it. Some women, those who had done a tremendous amount of work to seem younger, and constantly seeking compliments from others to confirm that their hard work pays off, would urge for a reply. If you tell the absolute truth as you believe it, you become an unforgivable enemy.
 
What I feel is, why should anybody, men or women, be so preoccupied by their own age or that of others? We all know appearance doesn't always represent truth. We must have all come across old people who are only 30 of age, yet some very young ones who are over 90; haven't we?

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