Humour About Senior Moments

The expression 'Senior moment' was apparently coined in America in the mid-nineties, but has become more widely used in the UK during the past couple of years. Originating with specific reference to seniors or senior citizens - people aged 65 or over - it has now entered more general use and can be in any situation where someone experiences a momentary lapse of memory, regardless of their age.

The term highlights the idea that our brains simply weren't built to cope with the information overload and stress generated by life in the 21st century. An absent-minded activity, like putting your furniture polish in the fridge or your prepared casserole in the cupboard, can also be referred to as a senior moment.

Examples of Funny Senior Moments:

** Up or down? ~

Archie, aged 88, has a problem with his house which has two stories. When he uses the stairs, Archie stops midway to catch his breath. His main problem is that, when he is ready to start again, he is unable to remember whether he was going upstairs or downstairs.

** Old Hat ~

A letter to a national UK newspaper in the 1950's declared: 'My grandfather, who is 87, has been converted to nudism. He sits all day long in the greenhouse without a stitch on except for his hat. When I asked him what he wants with a hat on if he's a nudist he hits out at me with his walking stick and hollers, "Because I'm bald"

** A Hand for the Bish ~

In his later life, a former Bishop of Lincoln, UK, found himself having difficulty rising from a park bench where he had stopped to take the weight off his feet. After struggling ineffectively, he was delighted when a little girl offered a helping hand.

'That's very kind of you my dear,' he told her, 'But are you really strong enough?'

'Oh yes, the child retorted, 'I've often helped my daddy when he was much drunker than you.'

Tags: SeniorMoments

• Current Mood: amused

The Fred-s In My Life ...

I have several friends called Fred, whom I hold very dear although I don't see them often. With the first colours and aroma of summer, I know one of them would always visit me, and often installs himself happily in my balcony. Some years for days, weeks, or longer. Sometimes he would prefer to be in my bedroom, always high up on the wall. With his colour being rather pale, light beige instead of the usual green or greyish of his species, he is mostly well camouflaged, almost invisible until he jerkily moves from one spot to another, then I spot him and I never fail to say "Hello, Fred! "

He is my occasional resident lizard but, after so many years having him
around, he has become part of my life, and I have come to regard him more of a dear friend. With the 2 balcony doors and all windows open in summer, he just comes and goes at will. Once he perched on the wall of the dinning room while I was entertaining a couple of friends. Right in the middle of the meal, the wife sported Fred, almost had a fit and screamed! I know I will scream like that if there's a hairy spider 10 feet away from me, but a tiny little and cute lizard? As hostess, I reckoned I ought to show enough courtesy and consideration not to have my guest frightened to death, so I needed to somehow remove Fred from the wall just in front of where she sat.

While she was turning paler than the lizard, trembling and inching herself lower and lower into her seat, I got the broom out but I was not tall enough to reach Fred. The husband offered to help but I didn't want to scare Fred with a total stranger coming after him with a broomstick, so I stood on my chair and gently guided Fred towards the balcony end of the wall, talking softly to him all the while. This somehow eased the fear of the distressed lady a little. She even followed with her eyes the spectacle of the hostess standing on a chair, came down again to move the chair nearer the balcony end, up the chair once more with the broomstick, shoo-shooing to the lizard, while the food was getting cold on the table.

Fred was rather obedient and cooperative, out he went eventually without any protest. Dinner was resumed and the lady and I were mutually apologizing to each other for the episode, but the husband said he was enjoying the whole comedy. "Didn't expect cabaret with dinner!" he said. Even she smiled. Not only that, since then each time I saw her or talked to her on the phone, she asked after Fred!

The other Fred-s of mine are: a cat, not mine but belong to someone who always walk around town with this cat on his shoulder. A small sick bird I once saved, looked after for a few days till he was stronger then let free. And, another I found once inside my locked house!! How he got in I had no idea, but as the house had been locked up for days while I was away, I could only guess he had somehow got in from the chimney, forgot from where he came in so couldn't get out again. He too was sick, more from hunger than illness I thought. So I fed him for a couple of days too before I let him go.

I call all the animals that I come across by chance and have made friends with Fred. It had simply become a habit. My favourite Fred, the original one, is of course Fred the Basset, by my favourite cartoonist Alex Graham.

Tags: FredLizard,Cat,Bird,Basset

• Current Mood: cheerful