** Jewish Telegram
"Begin worrying. Details to follow."
** Serves you right!
Naomi, still unmarried, was bored one evening. So she decided to go to a London casino for the first time ever and was persuaded to play roulette. She asked someone at the table the best way to pick a number. He suggested putting her money on her age. So, she put ten chips on the number 28. When the number 38 came up, she fainted.
** Advancement
Morris Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children. Unfortunately, he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read. So, when he married and opened a bank account, he signed his cheques just "XX". Morris then started his own business, which soon prospered. He became a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank.
"Mr.
Schwartz, I wanted to ask you about this cheque. We weren't sure you
had really signed it. All these years, you've been signing your cheques,
'XX'; this one is signed with three X's..."
Morris replied, "Since I've become rich, my wife thought I should have a middle name"
** The Medical check
Max Levy goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. “Max, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician - I can't make you any younger”, says the doctor. “Who asked you to make me younger?” says Max. “Just make sure I get older!” |
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
Artistic
Accomplished