Dear Friends,
It
is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they
did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not
to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When
I got laid off from my consulting job and took 'early retirement', it
became necessary for Nadine to get a full-time job, both for extra
income and for the health benefits that we need. It was shortly after
she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her
age.
I
usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts
supper. I try not to yell; instead I tell her to take her time and just
wake me when she finally does get supper on the table. She used to do
the dishes as soon as we finished eating. It is now not unusual for
them to sit on the table for several hours after supper. I do what I
can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't
cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to
help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Now
that she is older, she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our
washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't
make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this.
As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I am willing
to overlook it.
Not
only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday
lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's
or Thursday's bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait
until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more
time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog,
vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I have a really good day of fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nadine
is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to
offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even
three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her
that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if
you know what I mean.
When
doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I
try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks.
I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that, as long as she is
making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her
break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I
know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nadine on a
daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this much
consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find
it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can
become as they get older. However, guys, even if you just yell at your
wife a little less often because of this article, I will consider that
writing it was worthwhile.
Signed Bob.
Bob's funeral was on Saturday, April 25th
Nadine was acquitted Monday, April 27th.
