The Smart Blonde

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, 'I want 3 flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards.' The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out there just ordered 3 flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?' 'No' the cook said, '3 flat tires man 3 pancakes, a pair of headlights is 2 eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.' 'Oh, OK!' said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, 'What are the beans for Blondie?' She replied, 'I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!' Tags: Trucker,Blonde

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The Night Of The Gun - Memories Of Truth & Lies

David Carr is an ex drug addict. He has turned the publishing houses and the whole of the editorial world upside down some time back with his autobiography of investigations, of himself! Fifty five years old and Journalist by profession, he set out to interview many people who have had dealings with him, to bridge gaps of his own memory. His books described himself as drug addict, alcoholic, rude and ill-treated other people. As he couldn't trust his memory, he decided to investigate his own life. For 2 whole years, he not only interviewed his colleagues and his drug suppliers, also his ex girlfriends, the editing chiefs who sacked him for his drunkenness and un-reliability, and consulted medical and judicial achieves. The result was the subsequently published autobiography ' The night of the gun ', which had caused quite a stir in the editorial and literary sectors in the United States, quite agitated already in recent years for the scandals of books of falsified memories. Such scandals have opened up debates as to: whether the editorials should first check the veracity of the memories in print, and not of fiction. How to prevent authors offering a cat in a pig's poke? Do they have the means to do so like those best newspapers and magazines in America? Or anywhere else for that matter. The prestigious magazine, The New Yorker has a department of fact-checkers, which leaves nothing to chance. But this operation is too costly for books of 300 pages or more. Many editorials have applied tight measures on writers of memories checking the authenticity of these written memories, in most countries, America too, non fiction books usually enjoy higher popularity having more cache than fantasy. The problem arises when such work perverts or misleads, especially in the moral sense. David Carr himself has taken great pains apparently to verify all the data of his biography, as he was only too aware that his own memories are full of blurred out gaps when he was under the effects of drug or alcohol or the combination of both. So much so, he often found that these memories kept transforming into a different mental picture each time he recalled the same date or event!! To separate the memory (false or imagined) from the fact (solid and real), David Carr, today a special columnist in communication media of the economy section of The New York Times, applied in his ' Night of the gun ' traditional tools of quality journalism, not trusting the official version (his) so verified and documented each finding. On his web site, a great part of the interviews carried out, and documents of verifications are there for public viewing. In a bookshop in Union Square of Manhattan, he told the media that in his book he tried to avoid falling in the topical trap of sentimentalism, so often appeared in books of ex addicts of drugs or alcohol reformed (not often succeeded) story. He also admitted to find the fictitious memories stimulating. The 'night' of the title began in 1987, when the chief of the Minneapolis Weekly where he was a reputable journalist, but with a chaotic personal life, said to him that either he intoxicated double quick, or he walked. He chose to leave. He immediately started on a long journey of unbridled debauchery, remembered having entered a friend's house, who didn't want him to be there, but he won't go. Fed up of his unruliness this friend pulled out a gun on him. At least that's how he remembered about that night. Twenty years later, the friend he interviewed said that he had never in his life owned a gun. His book came a few months after another called ' Love and consequences ' - Memories of Margaret B. Jones, the story of great impact about Margaret, of Indian-American origin, adopted by a family in the poor district where she was mixed up wit the juvenile gangs. Only days later, it was discovered that the whole thing was invented, the authoress' real name was Margaret Seltzer, of a comfy middle class family in a prosperous district of California. So what to do? In recent times, many authors opt to put a note in the beginning or the end of the book, declaring that the story is based on fact but contains fictitious elements / fragments. In the 90's Barack Obama, then democratic candidate running for the White House, has done something similar with his memories 'Dreams of my father' carrying a note too saying that some characters in his book were fusion of several real people. We need to make up our own mind about books like with films, in the newspapers and, especially, things we heard by voice. Tags: gun, truth, lies

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Pregnancey And Other Women Issures

Pregnancy Q & A Q. Should I have a baby after 35? A. No, 35 children is enough. Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A. With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A. Childbirth. Q My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A. So what's your question? Q. The instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right? A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q. When is the best time to get an epidural? A. Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour? A. Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you. Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A. Yes, pregnancy. Q. Do I have to have a baby shower? A. Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A. When the kids are in college. Top ten things only women understand: 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colours. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. And the number one thing only women understand: 1. Other women.

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Tags: pregnancy, womenissues