I
posted a Blog earlier on the 18th re. the right of women to be
infertile, and their drama of wishing to have children but can't.
Afterwards, I thought about it further, and wondered about another
related point: why no or few men talk about or experience such anguish?
Women suffer their impossibility of becoming a mother, many even feel
guilt or think of themselves as incomplete as a 'real' woman; while men
keep total silence on the topic as if the reproduction has nothing to
do with them?
Men
have, for centuries, been 'educated', if you like, or 'conditioned' by
the old, and wrong, thinking that having children is a woman's
'business'. Most fear to express their sentiments, not a 'macho' thing.
We often hear say women are complicated but I think men are more so.
Why can't they express their feelings openly? Why do they have to hide
the fact that they too, sometimes cry? Why changing their own baby's
diapers or being seen giving it the bottle is 'below' their dignity?
Why are they so convinced that having babies is a 'woman thing' when
they know jolly well women alone don't produce babies? Why do they
consider their contribution fully complete simply having sown the
seeds, when women alone carry the 9+ months 'burden' and the birth pain,
plus all the after-care?
Their
excuses: 'What do I know about babies? What am I supposed to do with
washing machines? Cooking? Are you kidding? That's women's work.' Well,
women are not born with in-built manuals for any of those duties.
Especially that of caring for a child, that's pre-conditioned in human
nature to love it's young; even animals are so naturally equipped.
There are schools and courses for practically any skills but none
teaching you how to be a parent. You adapt and learn basing on love,
instinct and common sense; through day to day of your children's
growing up process, and you adapt, learn, and grow with them. The
so-called weaker sex can do it, so can men, supposedly stronger.
I
find men very attractive with a touch of tenderness, the feminine
characteristics; dare to express and show their feelings, comprehending
and sympathetic to other people's sorrows and pains, and dare to allow
themselves to cry instead of biting lips till they bleed trying to
suppress their tears.
