Recently
published in the British National Daily Newspapers: 'We have found
that the brightest and cleverest folk in our country are prone to
making gaffes and blunders, particularly in their examinations.' Here is a random selection from this year's exam papers ~
** In literature, a student from Bath Spa University wrote of Margaret Atwood's book: The Handmaid's Tale shows how patriarchy treats women as 'escape goats.'
** A further gem follows when an economics student at City University in London student who attributed Northern Rock's downfall to the 'laxative enforcement policies'.
** A student at the University of the West of England in Bristol astonished his tutor by spelling the subject of one of his favourite topics wrong: 'alchol' instead of 'alcohol'. Another wrote 'whom' instead of 'womb' in an anatomy paper, and one replaced the word 'abdominal' with 'abominous'.
** A fellow undergraduate concerned by the threat of diseases, wrote: 'Control of infectious diseases is very important in case an academic breaks out.'
** Other examples come from students at St Helens College of Art and Design near Liverpool, who were asked to 'outline the importance of the four Noble Truths to the Buddhist faith'. One offered the baffling response: 'Nirvana cannot be described because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of existing and not existing.'
** Students at the same university were asked to outline the importance of the railway in 19th-century Britain. One wrote: 'The railways were invented to bring the Irish from Dublin to Liverpool where they were promptly arrested for being vagrants', while another responded: 'The railways were invented to take the weight off the motorways.'
** My car got hit by a submarine: written on an Insurance claim form. The Navy informed the wife of a submariner that the craft was due in port. She drove to the base to meet her husband and parked at the end of the slipway where the sub was to berth. An inexperienced ensign was conning the sub and it rammed the end of the slip, breaking a section away, causing her car to fall into the water. The Navy paid the compensation claim.
** In literature, a student from Bath Spa University wrote of Margaret Atwood's book: The Handmaid's Tale shows how patriarchy treats women as 'escape goats.'
** A further gem follows when an economics student at City University in London student who attributed Northern Rock's downfall to the 'laxative enforcement policies'.
** A student at the University of the West of England in Bristol astonished his tutor by spelling the subject of one of his favourite topics wrong: 'alchol' instead of 'alcohol'. Another wrote 'whom' instead of 'womb' in an anatomy paper, and one replaced the word 'abdominal' with 'abominous'.
** A fellow undergraduate concerned by the threat of diseases, wrote: 'Control of infectious diseases is very important in case an academic breaks out.'
** Other examples come from students at St Helens College of Art and Design near Liverpool, who were asked to 'outline the importance of the four Noble Truths to the Buddhist faith'. One offered the baffling response: 'Nirvana cannot be described because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of existing and not existing.'
** Students at the same university were asked to outline the importance of the railway in 19th-century Britain. One wrote: 'The railways were invented to bring the Irish from Dublin to Liverpool where they were promptly arrested for being vagrants', while another responded: 'The railways were invented to take the weight off the motorways.'
** My car got hit by a submarine: written on an Insurance claim form. The Navy informed the wife of a submariner that the craft was due in port. She drove to the base to meet her husband and parked at the end of the slipway where the sub was to berth. An inexperienced ensign was conning the sub and it rammed the end of the slip, breaking a section away, causing her car to fall into the water. The Navy paid the compensation claim.
