12th April 2012 What's Normal? Or Not?

Bathtub Test for Mental Health ~

 

During a visit to the mental asylum, the Director was asked by a man what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the man. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup.

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. (Pause) Do you want a bed near the window?'

 

Verbal Testing ~ 

Dr. Marley, the head psychiatrist at Front Lawn Asylum, is examining patients to see if they're recovered and ready to re-enter society.
'So, Mr Lewis,' the doctor says to one of his patients, 'I see from your chart that you've been recommended for discharge. Do you have any idea what you might do once you leave here?'

Henry Lewis thinks for a moment, then replies, 'Well, I went to a college for telecommunications. That's still a good field, good money there. But on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experience here in the hospital, what it's like to be a patient here. People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go to evening school and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately.'

Dr. Marley nods, looks pleased and says, 'Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities.'

So Henry Lewis replies, 'And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a coffee pot.'

Tags: normal, asylum

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12th April 2012 Mental Health Or Disorder - Joke Or Truth?

Research indicates that Genius cannot exist without mental disorder, George Orwell and Lewis Carroll suffered autism. While Mozart, Hans Christian Andersen were almost certainly suffered from Asperger syndrome (a neurobiological condition which affects social & communication skills). Those suffering from Asperger syndrome often have artistic creativity, as well as mathematical genius.

• There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
• Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion.
• Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
• Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
• If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
• Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.
• I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
• One out of four people in this country is Mentally Unbalanced. Check your 3 closest friends, if they seem okay, then you are the one.
• When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
  Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.
• Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.
• I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
• When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.

Psychiatric definition ~

 

** Neurotics build castles in the air.

** Psychotics live in them.

** Psychiatrists are the people who collect the rent.

Tags: mentaldisorder, asperger

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12th April 2012 Senior's Texting Codes & Social Definition

Now that the old folks too have caught onto texting, here are some helpful texting ideas. Young people have their acronyms, now seniors have their own codes, and new ways to express their positive activities: 

Text codes ~

•  ATD - At the Doctor's
•  BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
•  BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
•  BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
•  DWI - Driving While Incontinent
•  FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
•  FYI - Found Your Insulin
•  LOL - Living on Lipitor ( drug belonging to the group called Statins, used for lowering blood/cholesterol, and stabilizes plaque, preventing strokes)
•  ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
•  TOT - Texting on Toilet
•  WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
• Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!) 
•  

New definitions to work into your conversation ~

• Active socially - Drinks heavily.
• Character above reproach - Still one step ahead of the law.
• Excels in the effective application of skills - Makes a good cup of coffee.
• Internationally known - Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
• Is well informed - Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
• Tactful in dealing with superiors or authorities - Knows when to keep mouth shut.
• Willing to take calculated risks - Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.

Tags: textcodes, seniors

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