29th Aug 2011 Some Fun Nonsense For The Monday Blues

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so frustrating! This is so funny and weird that it will boggle your mind. Give it a go. And if you are anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying at least a few more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't!

1) While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2) Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.

3) Your foot will change direction. I told you so. And, there's nothing you can do about it! Go ahead: KEEP TRYING ALL YOU WANT.

Have a great day. Now get back to work.

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Out of the Mouths of Babies ...

Greg, the three year old, put his shoes on by himself. His father noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot and vice-versa. He sat Greg down on a chair and said quietly, 'Greg, your shoes are on the wrong feet.'

Greg looked up at his father with a quizzical expression and replied, 'Don't mess me about, Dad, I know they're my feet.'

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Family Feet Business

I heard a story once of a family firm who cornered the feet market. One brother sold shoes, each shoe had a hidden fatal flaw. As a direct result the victim's feet needed treatment with the second brother, who was the only Chiropodist in town.

Legend had it that the chiropodist was so incompetent that the only way the victim could get home was in a taxi. You're ahead of me now, the third brother had the only taxi firm for miles around.

Tags: feet, game, fun

Prev: 29th Aug 2011 A Very Short Love Story In Photos

29th Aug 2011 A Very Short Love Story In Photos

I have seen ducks follow farmers Wellington boots, but I have never before seen a picture of duckling following a dog.

Just in case you think it's the man the ducklings are following. Wrong - it's the dog that the ducklings have imprinted on. Look at the picture, Isn't it endearing? 

Tags: mamadog, ducklings

Prev: 29th Aug 2011 Thoughts On Aging

29th Aug 2011 Thoughts On Aging

• Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
• 'How old are you?' I'm four and a half!' you're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
• You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
• 'How old are you?' I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ... You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony ... YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
• But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
• You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50.
• And your dreams are gone.
• But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would.
• So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
• You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday.
• You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
• Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.' I'm 100 and a half!'
• May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.

Tags: aging

Prev: 29th Aug 2011 Do You Possess Inner Strength?

29th Aug 2011 Do You Possess Inner Strength?

You have inner strength if ...

• If you can start the day without caffeine.
• If you can get going without pep pills.
• If you can always be cheerful ignoring aches and pains.
• If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles.
• If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it.
• If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time.
• If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when through no fault of yours something goes wrong.
• If you can take criticism and blame without resentment.
• If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him.
• If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend.
• If you can face the world without lies and deceit.
• If you can conquer tension without medical help.
• If you can relax without liquor.
• If you can sleep without the aid of drugs.

• ... Then you are probably the family dog!

Tags: dog, innerstrength

Prev: 29th Aug 2011 The Dead Duck Story

29th Aug 2011 The Dead Duck Story

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away.' 

The distressed owner wailed, 'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead', he replied.

'How can you be so sure?' she protested. 'I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything! He might just be in a coma or something.' 

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

 

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.' 

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

'£150!' she cried, '£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!' 

The vet shrugged.' I'm sorry. If you' d taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150.'

Tags: deadduck

Prev: 28th Aug 2011 Harvesting August - Matter Of The Heart