27th Feb 2012 Barbara's Pie - For Londoners

Barbara, during her nurse's training at a hospital just outside Washington, DC, had little money for meals, so she often resorted to the food provided at the hospital refectory, even though she had a great dislike for its rather bland taste.

Barbara often took her breaks in the kitchen, and sometimes kindly visitors would give her some of the treats they had brought for patients who had not wanted to eat them.

On one particular evening an English woman, from the East end of London, brought a home made pie to the kitchen and said to Barbara, 'Would you eat this up, love?' 

Barbara and her student friend devoured every last delicious crumb.

Soon their benefactor returned, however, and asked, 'Is me 'usband's pie 'ot yet, dearie?'

 

(I forgot to tell you before that you need to know East End London accent to understand this little story!)

Tags: pie, eastendlondon

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27th Feb 2012 A Man & His Bike

Enjoy an amazing ride on a bike ...
What imagination, reflexes and skill! This is insane, and the guy is no young kid either...... Plus the added bonus of some great shots of Scotland. His bike is an extension of his body.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Cj6ho1-G6tw&vq=medium

27th Feb 2012 Big Frank

Big Frank was having his hair styled at the hairdresser's when a lorry smashed into a car, outside. Draped in a cape, his hair divided with aluminium clips, Frank, an ex-paratrooper corporal raced out to the car and found the driver unhurt.

The lorry driver, however, was slumped over the wheel, unconscious. Big Frank lost no time in applying his army acquired CPR techniques, including mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. The lorry driver recovered consciousness several times, but kept passing out again.

Soon the ambulance arrived with the paramedics and took over, and Frank returned to his barber's seat. 'I just don't understand why he kept passing out,' he said to the hairdresser. 'I did everything they taught me.'

'Well, put yourself in the lorry driver's place, 'said the hairdresser. 'He's driving down the street without a care in the world. The next thing he knows, he's waking up to see some big guy in a green cape with a head full of wires pounding on his chest and kissing him. You'd pass out too'

Tags: bigfrank

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27th Feb 2012 Airline 'Gripe Sheet' Humour

I came across this old Blog while I was trying to find the rest of my 100 word stories. A re-post, but it's just as funny as when I read it the last time.

Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

Pilots: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilots: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

Pilots: Something loose in cockpit.

Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

Pilots: Dead bugs on wind-shield.

Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilots: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

Pilots: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilots: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Engineers: That's what they're for.

 

Pilots: Suspected crack in wind-shield.

Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilots: Number 3 engine missing.

Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

Pilots: Aircraft handles funny.

Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilots: Target radar hums

Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

Pilots: Mouse in cockpit.

Engineers: Cat installed.

And perhaps, to me, the funniest one ... Or is it the cat & mouse?

Pilot:. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

 

Tags: gripesheet

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