Speaking Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

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In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

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On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

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On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."

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At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want all tows."

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On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

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In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

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On a oMaternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

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At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet -

miss a car payment."

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Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

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At the Electric Company

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."

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In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills."

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At a

SONORA RADIATOR SHOP:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Tag:speakingsigns

Current Mood: Amused

Last Calls, Gentlemen!

The British pubs are much more than a meeting place for friends sharing a few drinks and chat. It's an institution for centuries, with no generation boundaries and loved by people of all ages. A voice through a loud-speaker calls out: Last calls, Gentlemen!' indicates 10 minutes before closing time and for those who wish to have one for the road to place their last order. Some pubs rings the bell but people seem to prefer somebody yelling out!

But things are changing. The prohibition of smoking in premises, stricter control of alcoholism, economic crises, etc. Traditionally pubs are property of the beer companies, but 37 of them have closed or were acquired by multinationals. In the recent years, thousands of them have passed into hands of companies - known as PubCos, dedicated to obtain the maximum benefit in the shortest time, without any interest for the history or the social cohesion. The PubCos rent out the locations under the condition that they conduct the business with beer bought only from certain brands which they got at discounted prices.

The crisis have bitten into the profits of these chains, many of them responded by raising the rent. If the business does not function, then put the pub on sale. The chain Punches & Taverns, owner of 8.400 pubs, and Enterprise, 7,800 have accumulated huge debts of more than 10,000 million Euros. Since the year 2,000, six thousand pubs have closed, with 50 thousand jobs lost and that many more in danger.

To most Brits, drinker or not, Britain would not be Britain without those colourful pubs. I am quite sure even foreigners would feel the same. Pubs are and have always been, a national tradition and part of the country's identity.

Tags:Pubs,BritishTradition

Current Mood: Chipper

Our World Of Call Centres

The desperation is fast becoming confusion, when you have been talking for some time with people you don't know, to ask for information, report a problem, or hoping for an advice. You spend ages answering questions first of all who you are and why you are bothering whoever that was on the other end. Only at the end of that you were told that you needed to dial another number, or wait for them to put you through to somebody else, and then, as you already know, the same thing again and you find that you have been speaking for 20 minutes, always to the wrong person and, it's always your fault ... THAT they always make quite clear! So you start from the beginning. This time you get nobody, just a long monologue in a recording: "If you want to be attended in Catalan, press 1, if you want to be attended in Spanish press 2, if you want to buy, press 3, if it's reparation, press 4, if ... If not ... Stay on line" then you are given another 10 minutes of music which you much rather exchange for dead silence. We live in the world of Call Centres, which is like an enormous voice mail Box into which we deposit our complaints of provision of electricity, water, gas or new technology you have installed and know nothing about. These communication usually fall into the cosmic space, and you have no idea with whom you had left the call for help, nor if there's actually anyone who might know how and where to reach you. The washing machine is in your home, but that call centre is likely to be in India or Morocco. So you swear you would never call any of these centres again, but there seems to be no way you can stop people calling you, with offers of goods or services you don't need and never asked for. After a dozen of these in one evening, you lost your temper and dumped the phone with great force nearly breaking it, and saying something you shouldn't have; no matter, there would be more calls with different voice and offering different services the very next day. Who gave these people our numbers? How do you stop them? Can you sue them for disturbance of peace? How? A friend had been for days trying to buy a new modem to connect to Internet with his home quite far out from the city centres. He was given the shop name from a friend of a friend in a little store in the middle of nowhere, and was attended by 4 people, got his modem, and was presented with a baseball cap and a pen as gifts for his custom. Tags:callcentres

Current Mood: Annoyed