Thursday, 2 August 2012

2nd Aug 2012 Boyfriend v Husband SoftWare

Aug 02B
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0. What I have noticed is a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications, which had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as Sport 7.3, NFL 3.2 and Tennis 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Your faithfully
Desperate Susan

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reply from Tech Support ~
 
Dear Desperate Susan,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Home Cooking 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5.

Finally consider applications such as Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck
Tech Support

Prev: 2nd Aug 2012 Do You Remember This?

2nd Aug 2012 Do You Remember This?

Aug 02A
The birth of the Internet brought lots of change. It changed many aspects of our personal lives and as well as re- shaped the way business is done in many ways. When I zip back in time and reflect on the dawn of those changes back in early 2000 - 2001 I can recall what is today some rather humorous predictions of the time.

It wasn't so funny then, when some self-proclaimed "experts" predicted the "end of shopping malls forever". Yep, they were predicting that being able to shop online would be the death blow to conventional brick and mortar businesses and shopping malls would stand empty forever.
 
Well, we all know it never happened and likely never will happen. But at the time it was a frightening thought for many business people. Sure, the Internet did bring online shopping and things did change, but your local mall is not going anywhere... Which brings me to a more recent prediction of a similar "doomsday" event that was sure to happen.

Not so long ago it was predicted by many that the "smartphone" would mark the end of email - that email is a dinosaur and no one will ever use it again. The fact is, as the Smartphone industry took shape, just the opposite has transpired. Can you guess what the number one thing people use their Smartphone for these days? They use it to check their email! That's right, second only to texting, Smartphones highest use is to check email.

Email is alive and well, and, just like you can never replace a good old fashioned stroll through the mall, you can't replace the convenience and functional value of email, both as a user and as a marketer.

Now "snail mail", that may be another story...

Prev: 2nd Aug 2012 While On The Subject Of Elephant ...

2nd Aug 2012 While On The Subject Of Elephants ...

Aug 02
Baby elephant picture - playing football The baby elephant brings an extra dimension to football - his trunk. Will he play better when his tusks arrive? Or would they puncture the football?
Elephants playing ball ~ Baby elephant playing ball
Baby elephant picture - playing ball Malee, a three-month old Asian elephant, plays with her ball after cooling off in her wading pool at the Oklahoma City Zoo.
Baby Elephants Keeping Fit ~ Picture of Baby Elephants keeping fit
Young elephant falling off stool This baby elephant still has a lot to learn! Talking of Learning ...  

How Elephants Got Trunk - Kipling This is not so funny at all for the baby elephant!
Prev: 1st Aug 2012 The 10 Laws Of Computing ...