Blind Man & Celibacy

** Blind man's Wisdom ~

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

** Celibacy ~

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling ... take celibacy. This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by environmental factors.

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Robert and Mary listened to the instructor declare 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'

He addressed the men. 'Can you each name and describe your wife's favourite flower?'

Robert leaned over, touched Mary's arm gently and whispered, 'Self raising, isn't it?'

Thus started Robert's celibacy.

Tags:BlindMan,Celibacy

• Current Mood: Amused

Don't Mess About With Earthlings

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, ' Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader. The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!' The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed until he finally regained consciousness. Refocusing his three eyes, he straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. 'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder and stick it in his ear.'

Tags:aliens,earthlings

• Current Mood: Amused

The Brain & The Economy

It's common knowledge that loans are often effected between banks, like authors would lend or borrow ideas from each other, or hospitals making loans of staff, medicine, blood or organs to help each other out in emergency cases. In other words, pretty normal practice. What is not so normal in recent days is that they are still doing so now in the midst of general economic crisis. To what purpose I can't help but wonder, when the present day economic crisis and fear of recession is having the worldwide effect. Discarding the absurd presumption of solidarity, the only reason left is the interest. I give you so much and you give me back so much and a half.

I am totally ignorant on the subject of economy with all it's intrigues and it's important influences in moving the country forward, therefore not quite see how some banks can lend out money on one hand, and crying out loud for help and emergency measures at the same time. Nevertheless, I think I do see that thanks to the inter-exchanges, money flows through the social and economic body like blood for the organism, transporting oxygen (or increased value or appreciation) to all parts of the body. Very much like transfusion of blood in hospitals.

Such analogy or resemblance helps layman like me to understand better the importance of credit or value in our lives. Where I am still very much in the dark is who, or what, fulfills the roll of the liver, the pancreas or the heart (if it has one)? Most of all, I don't understand who, or where is the brain that generate such a system.

As far as I know, a human body can be perfectly healthy from the point of view that the circulation of the blood functions as it should, but the brain might have been damaged therefore totally void of activity, or full of crazy hallucinations. This person is healthy, but he is not active nor productive. Like patients in the state of coma. Sometimes the patients would wake up or with some temporary lucid moments, sometimes not at all. Had the brain that directs all economic systems been in coma with the euphoria of wine and Roses of the affluent bygone days, had woken up to the paralytic threat of recession?

So now the banks are in debt up to their eyes, but out of crisis like a perfectly healthy body. Is it so too the brain? What do you say?

 

Tags:bankloan,brain

• Current Mood: Awake