8th Aug 2011 Giggles - The Priest, The Diet & Relative Values

The New Diet ~

Reginald was terribly overweight, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds, 'his doctor assured him.

When Reginald returned he shocked his doctor by having lost almost twenty pounds.

'Why, that's amazing, 'the doctor said, greatly impressed, 'You certainly must have followed my instructions.'

Reginald nodded, 'I'll tell you what though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day.' 

'Why, from hunger?' asked his doctor.

'No, from all that skipping.' 

Relative Values ~

The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girl friend's father, 'Son, are you able to support a family?'

'Well, no, sir,' he replied. 'I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.'

The T.V. is No Joke ~

I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault. She asked me what was on the TV and I said: 'Dust'.

Nothing went too well after that.

The priest ~

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar backwards. The boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, a priest, said, 'I am Father'.

The boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered, 'I am father of many.

The boy said, 'My Mad has 4 boys, 2 girls and 2 grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, a bit impatient now, said, 'I am the father of hundreds' and went back to his book.

The boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,

'Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.'

Tags: diet, values, priest

Prev: 8th Aug 2011 Are You A Real Gentleman?

8th Aug 2011 Are You A Real Gentleman?

The heat has been quite insufferable round this time of the year even in Roses, about 30 to 33 degrees, where the sea breezes at least help somewhat; while in the south, it's reported to be up to 38+ degrees! Yet, in banks and some public governmental offices, large and prestigious companies, high officials and executives are obliged to wear suit and ties, almost permanently drenched in sweat. Sure, the work places are usually air-conditioned, but they still need to bear the immense heat on their journeys there and back, and execute their duties and tasks attending meetings, conferences, etc. to other locations within their day's work.

 

In this modern times, how can people's value still be judged simply by a piece of irrelevant material hanging around their neck, which has no other function than being decorative, but is still considered conventional or correct? And how can that define a man's worth, class, honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty, and exquisite manners? How simple life would be if that's really so! All the thieves, robbers, abusers, rapists, cheats and swindles need is to wear a tie which instantly transforms them into gentlemen.

The concept of correctness in dressing is, however, very, but very ample, and slack, in all other areas and spheres. Fortunately.

Tags: gentleman, tie

Prev: 7th Aug 2011 Giggles - Army Rules & Military Communications