26th April 2012 Food For Laughs

Chicken or duck?

 

Rhoda and Harry go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as Rhoda is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. 

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband, Harry. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. Harry reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. 

'Please sir,' stammers the waiter, 'what you order?'
Harry replies, "Chicken Surprise."

'Ah! So sorry, is mistake' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'

Well done? Well done! 

Kevin was furious when his steak arrived cooked too rare.

'Waiter,' Kevin shouted, 'Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?'

'Of course I did, sir, I can't thank you enough, sir,' replied the waiter. 'I hardly ever get a compliment.'

Food & Diet:

** The best way to lose weight is by skipping ..... snacks and dessert.

** One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: if you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST.

** Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies..........

** A women's group was discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied, 'Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I'm not eating is when I'm sleeping.'

** One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

** The only exercise I get is jumping to conclusions.

** Sign in restaurant window: Eat now - Pay waiter. 

 

Tags: food, laughs, diet

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Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th April 2012 Puppies For Sale - A Love Story

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. 

As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls, he looked down into the eyes of a little boy. 

 

Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

 

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

 

The boy dropped his head for a moment, then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

 

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

 

"Sure," said the farmer, and with that he let out a whistle,"Here,Dolly!" he called.

 

Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

 

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.

 

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

 

Slowly another little ball appeared; this one noticeably smaller, down the ramp it slid.

 

Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up ...

 

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

 

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy, he will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

 

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers, in doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

 

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

 

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Tags: puppies

Prev: 26th April 2012 The 1st AeroCar Now On Sale
Next: 21st Feb 2012 An Irresistible Ad.

26th April 2012 The 1st AeroCar Now On Sale

The AeroCar ~

The car in the image is known as 'AeroCar', the first vehicle that can fly in the air - or the first plane that can also circulate on the highway. It was permitted to fly as well as to run on the ground in 1949, and now it is on sale for a trifle price of 970,000 €. This machine can reach 176 kilometres per hour in the air, and 96 on the road.

Without any doubt, the most difficult thing for the owner would be where on earth can you park it?

A home-made solar vehicle ~

A 19 year old Chinese young man, Zhu Zhenlin, has just constructed this solar car all by himself, which permits him to circulate in his native city of Hengheng, China, without contaminating the environment. With infinite patience and using only scrapes he found round the city, he completed his dream of building his own car right there in the garage of his house. Initiative and ambition this young guy certainly doesn't lack, and he hopes some multinational would engage him.

Not that his car is a paragon of streamlining example, but it works.

Tags: solarcar, aerocar

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