What's Your Job Like?

Q. How's your job at the clock company?

A. Only time will tell.

Q. How's your job at the banana company?

A. I keep slipping up.

Q. How's your job on the new highway?

A. I'm so busy I don't know which way to turn.

Q. How's your job at the travel agency?

A. I'm going nowhere.

Q. How's your job at the swivel chair company?

A. It makes my head spin!

Q. How's your job at the lemon juice company?

A. I've had bitter jobs.

Q. How's your job at the pie company?

A. It didn't pan out.

Q. How's your job at the balloon factory?

A. We can't keep up with inflation.

Q. How's your job at the crystal ball company?

A. I'm making a fortune.

Q. How's your job at the history book company?

A. There's no future in it.

Q. How's your job at the clock company?

A. I'm having second thoughts about it.

Q. How's your job on the farm?

A. Problems keep cropping up.

Q. How's your job at the sewing shop?

A. Hanging on by a thread.

Q. How's your job at the eye glasses clinic?

A. I have clear job objectives.

Tag: JobDefinition

• Current Mood: amused

A Cat Tale

John & his Mrs. were dressed and ready to go out for a Dinner & Theatre evening. They turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, Covered our pet budgie and put the cat in the backyard.

John phoned the local Taxi company and requested a taxi which arrived, and they opened the front door to leave the house. As they walked out the door, the cat they had put out in the yard scooted back into the house.

They didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to get at the budgie. The Mrs walked on out to the taxi, while John went back inside to get the cat. The little devil ran upstairs, with him in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the Mrs. didn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explained to the taxi driver that her husband would be out soon. 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, John got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long," he said, as they drove away.

'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked!

I hauled her fat arse downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! ... She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!

The silence in the Taxi was deafening ... !!!

Tags:EveningOut,Cat,Taxi

• Current Mood: amused

Old Friends

Today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be. Enjoy this day while it lasts.

** Going out is good ... Coming home is better.

** You forget names ... It's okay because other people forget they even knew you!!

** You realize you're never going to be really good at some things ... especially Golf.

** The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that yTVou don't care to do them anymore.

** You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called 'pre-sleep'.

** You miss the days when everything worked with just 'On' and 'Off' switches.

** You tend to use more 4-letter words ... 'What?' ... 'When?' ... 'Sure?'

** Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

** You notice everything they sell in stores is 'sleeveless'?!!!

** What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

** Everybody whispers.

** You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 2 of which you will never wear.

** Take heart, old is good in some things: Old songs, old movies, and best of all, Old Friends.

Stay Well & Happy, Old Friends!

Tags:OldSongs,OldMovies

• Current Mood: cheerful

The Fair Sex

A 4-month term in jail for a man, who has been accused of beating up his live-in girlfriend, was revoked by a court judge, so reported by the media in Spain, on the ground of sex, more precisely, the gender of the victim.

 

The incident began like so many other cases of domestic violence . A woman denounced to the police that her boyfriend beat her up, injuring her face. The police checked out the evidence and the man was arrested. He admitted to have beaten up his girlfriend on the face and was willing to accept punishment.

 

The court judge sentenced him to 4 months in jail, but as the man did not have any antecedence, and the sentence was less than 2 years, this automatically gave him access to the conditional discharge, to observe the ruling that he must not communicate with her by any means, and keep a distance from her at no less than 1000 metres. So far everything normal and near concluding.

 

However, while the police started putting everything on record file, they discovered that the woman's ID number was identical to another, a man's. On further questioning, the woman admitted that she was born a male, had in fact initiated the operation of a sex change, but had not yet terminated the administrative procedures.

 

This contingency was reported immediately and the judge informed the public prosecutor's department and lawyers, that the case was to be annulled, as domestic violence law was to protect the woman. The public prosecution argued that official administrative documents haven't been completed could not be considered the woman in question not a woman, and would not agree to have the case annulled. The judge did anyway and the case was remitted to the ordinary court as a case of fight between 2 men.

 

I know little about law and less about sex change or what should be a fair and just sentence. To me violence is violence, a man hurts as much as a woman when he/she is attacked by someone physically stronger, be the perpetrator or the victim of that violence male or female.

 

Shouldn't the law simply protect any person being attacked by another? What has sex or gender got to do with it?

 

Tags:Sex,Violence,Law