** Mama's Parrot **
Police
called out to investigate reports of a young child left home alone
found a talking parrot instead. Police were called to the house in
Koblenz, Germany, by an elderly lady who said she could hear a child
next door constantly screaming, "Mama, Mama". The woman felt the child
must have been left home alone as nobody was answering the cries.
When officers broke into the house they found the cries were coming from a 25-year-old talking parrot.
** Happy Anniversary! **
A
couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's
getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years
together. He replies,
"No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
** Congratulations ** - Stolen from Mick
A
new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends sent flowers
for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it
said. “Rest in Peace”
The owner was quite upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said,
“Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rater than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,
“Congratulations on you new location.”
