** My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
** My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet."
** My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
** My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
** My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me."
** My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
** My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
** My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
** My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
** My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
** My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
** My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I’ve told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
** My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
** My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
** My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
** My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
** My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
** My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
** My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
** My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
** My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
** My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
** My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
** My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
** My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
