29th Dec 2011 Alternative Ways Of Looking At Things ...

• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
• The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
  If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
• The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
• If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
• There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
• Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
• WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• He is depriving some poor village of its idiot.
• I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
• The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
• Regular naps prevent old age ... especially if you take them while driving.
• At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
• If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
• For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
• I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
• My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
• The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
• The best way to get over a guy is to get under another.

Tags: alternativeways

Prev: 29th Dec 2011 End Of The Year News Tip-Bits

29th Dec 2011 End Of The Year News Tip-Bits

** Habitual thief delivered himself to the Police (Spain)

The ongoing economic crises affected, to different extend, all sectors, including the delinquency. A many times backslider thief voluntarily enter the police station confessing to 7 thefts he committed in the same neighbourhood in the past weeks. He succeeded having himself detained, a speedy court appearance, and be put in jail on Tuesday - the sole reason for his confession. More surprising than giving himself up, he even phoned the police yesterday who arrested him, thanking him saying he now has adequate food, fairly comfortable bed and warm clothing, plus medical care & protection, so much better and safer than being in the street.

Something is wrong with the society or the systems, or both, when one has to commit crime to be able to eat and have a roof over one's head, be protected and cared for. At least that seems to be the message the society is getting.

** GoodBye to Chita, a famous movie star (Hollywood)

One of the most veteran and lovable animal stars, the chimpanzee Chita, died on Christmas Eve at the age of 80, having survived all the main actors of that popular 'Tarzan' series. 

Johnny Weismuller (Tarzan) died, turned mad, in 1984, four months before his 80th birthday. Maureen O'Sullivan (Jane) and later mother of Mia Farrow, died in 1998 just after completed 87 years. John Sheffield, the child actor who played Tarzan and Janes adopted son (adopted so as not to defy the moral code of the era as the couple of the jungle were not married!) died in 2010, although he had been then 50 years away from the movie business.

 

Tags: jane, chita, tarzan

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