What Word Starts With F & Ends In K?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher:

"Put Harry in the fifth-grade. I got the last seven questions all wrong ..."

Tags:Teacher,Student,Grades

• Current Mood: amused

A Rather Strange Burglary

Vilabertran is the next town very near Roses where I live. There's a monastery, an annual 'Schubertiada' - Concert of Schubert's work, a football club, and the location for fairly large scale Fairs of all sorts. Last weekend, between Saturday night and Sunday morning, there had been several burglaries. In the warehouse for agricultural tools, in a restaurant where the thieves had time to empty out the Fruit Machine and ran off, even though the noises they made had woken up the owners living above and had activated the alarm.

Ordinary robberies that happen habitually anywhere, in cities, towns or villages. On this same night though, another robbery not so ordinary occurred. Besides the farm tools and money, a portable toilet was stolen. It was one of those temporary ones installed usually where some big events take place with large number of people expected to be attending. Open-air concerts, trade or agricultural fairs, food fairs, Village festivals with varied entertainment, competitions, etc. That weekend was for 'Son del Mon' - Sound of the World, a large musical event. There were 4 of these portable toilets installed in the vicinity, in the street, and one was stolen the same night it was put there.

The reason why the thief or thieves wanted the toilet is already quite strange, and the difficulty to do so is no less mind boggling, as they must need a rather large truck, with a crane, to lift it off the ground and onto the vehicle, with the necessary caution not to be seen by anybody. Naturally the organizers had to immediately replaced it, costing 1,500 € the unit, as they expected enormous crowds for that concert featuring Gerard Quintana, very popular singer.

The organizers of the event said they just couldn't understand why this should be an object of desire by the thieves. I think I might offer an supposition: it's likely for the notorious theatre director, Calixto Bieito, who has been, and also right now, putting on his musical on the well famous Opera House, Theatre del Liceu, where he employs weird and often rather vulgar scenarios. Actors simulating taking drugs, urinating and other explicit obscenities on stage for instance. The last few days there have been incessant complaints by the public about his play, Mozart's "Don Giovanni", including some severe criticism like " degenerating a masterpiece into a vulgar spectacle, appalling interpretation of a musical genius' art work, disrespect for actors and audience ...

To show off a director's creative talent, isn't it essential to be faithful first of all to show the fine work as the authors had intended? Or, they can always write their own play and put in any oddity they wish.

Tags:Burglary,PortableToilet,StageMusical

• Current Mood: blah

'Hair For Valencianas'

In the corner of a page in the local Spanish newspaper I look at most days, whenever I can beat the other customers of the cafe getting it first, where readers are invited to send in their photos, of any topic that might be of interest for viewing. Observation of the city, it's people or whatever. The initiative is promising but most of those published seemed to be denouncement of something - dirty streets, illegal parking, overflow dustbins, etc.; typical of human nature, always criticize, rarely find something nice to praise.

Today's photo shows a shop-sign that's says 'Pelo para Valencianas' - Hair (wigs) for ladies of Valencia. That is, if you translate it literally to English. It was accompanied by the photographer's sarcastic remark that 'the shop only serves ladies who can prove they are authentic pedigrees of Valencia', and asked how they are going to carry out such authentication.

Looking at the photo, he couldn't have missed seeing the display, in the front shop window, special festive costumes, for occasions when the ladies in Valencia of all ages dress up in that kind of very colourful dresses called 'fallera', with voluminous full skirts with many tiers of gathered flounces. They also wear their hair in a traditional style to accommodate special decorative hair combs and flowers. When they are dressed like that, it's customary to say that they are 'Vestidas de Valencia' which means dressed in the kind of costume and style I just described. So the shop sign actually informs that they provide special hairpieces and wigs for such costumes.

Obviously the photographer, though himself a Spaniard judging by his name, Llorenc Soler, had been far too quick to criticize based on his ignorance rather than reason, taking the sign word for word, without the knowledge of it's true meaning. He has made the people in Valencia, or at least the shop owner and his staff, to be xenophobic if not worse. Had he taken the trouble to enter the shop and ask for an explanation, he would have learned something.

People are often separated not because of the differences between them, but because of ignorance of the 'others'. And too stuffed up or lazy to find out about them. Criticizing things they don't know instead of learning something worthwhile, beautiful or even useful to themselves.

Tags:Valencia,Culture,Ignorance

• Current Mood: artistic