Sunday, 7 October 2012

We Are In Big Trouble


Oct 07C
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school,That leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of that there are 35 million employed by the federal government, Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with training and testing new weapons even in peace time, which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.


Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.


At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.


Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice!!

Very Funny Country Music Song Titles




Oct 07Bb
A list of some of the funniest country song titles, apart from eye-catching, definitely serve the purpose to evoke curiosity thus sales: ~

** Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
** How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away?
** Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In Bed
** I Keep Forgetting I Forgot About You
** I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself, Or Go Bowling
** She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
** You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
** I Just Bought a Car From a Guy That Stole My Girl, but The Car Don't Run; so I figure we Got An Even Deal
** Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye
** I Liked You Better, Before I Knew You So Well
** I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better
** I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
** I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
** I'm So Miserable Without You, It S Like Having You Here
** Please Bypass this Heart?. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
** Mama Get a Hammer, There's a Fly On Papa's Head
** My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
** My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him


Tags:FunnySongTitles

To All My Friends

Oct 07A
If I could catch a rainbow,
I would do it just for you,
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain,
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.


If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.


MoiMoii



Some Of Oscar Wilde's Amusing Quips

Oct 07I absolutely adore Oscar Wilde's sharp and sometimes cruel wit, but other times brilliant observation of human nature, and often some hilarious reasoning of life itself albeit with somewhat crooked arguments. I therefore would not apologize here for having posted this once before; I need to laugh a little and exercise my mind a lot ...


** There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
** But what is the difference between literature and journalism? - Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all.
** We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language
** America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
** A pompous speaker who had a great opinion of himself gave a long after-dinner speech. He then made the mistake of turning to his neighbour on the top table, who happened to be Oscar Wilde, and asked, 'How would you have delivered that speech? - 'Under an assumed name', came the reply from Oscar Wilde.
** Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination
** There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
** To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
** We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars
** An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
** Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught
** The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
** Genius is born - not paid.
** If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
** 'One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.'
** The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
** To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
** Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience and rebellion that progress has been made.
** I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again. - (This one reminds me closely of myself!!)
** There is no sin except stupidity. - (In fact this one might be too; at least that's 

Tags: OscarWilde,AmysingQuips