Giggles For Today

** Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London . Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
 
** Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby.

** They've had to cancel the panto 'Jack & the Beanstalk' in Birmingham , Bristol , Oldham, Bradford, Burnley, Leicester, Luton and London : Apparently the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen. 

** The wife was counting all the 5 and 10 cents out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."

** When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!

** Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the butt in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

** Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!

** A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen.. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."

** Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin to an envelope for?", "I'm sending a voicemail ya thick sod!"
 
** Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

** 19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."
 
** An Asian fellow has moved in next door.. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat ...

Tag: Today'sGiggles

Alfred Hitchcock & The Making Of Psycho

The Unforgettable thriller 'Psycho' of Hitchcock fame has well stood the passage of time to remain one of the most thrilling films in the movie history. The new film, starred Sir Anthony Hopkins as Hitchcock and Dame Helen Mirren as his wife, is hoisted in gigantic posters now in Barcelona.

Touted as a biographical comedy-drama that presents a behind-the-scenes look at the film, which was marred with controversy due to complaints about violence, nudity and other sexual content, and claims that a body double was used in Leigh's place during the shower murder scene. It will also focus on Hitchcock's relationship with his wife Alma Reville. The "Hitchcock" plot follows the troubled financing of Psycho. The directors battles with Hollywood censors and Hitchcock's desire to prove to his doubters, his wife and himself that he still had an edge. Without having seen the film yet, I can't figure out how it's advertised as a comedy-drama. Neither the plot, nor the original film was anything but comical to me.

But I adore both Anthony Hopkins and Helen Mirren as actors, they would make whatever format chosen a success. I often admire and enjoy good acting more than the story. In my book this film is definitely listed in the 'Must See' category.

A Roving Cup Of Tea

A friend from England and I were discussing the merit of tea & coffee. He, very English, complained that he couldn't get a good cup of tea just about anywhere in Spain. This reminded me of Felicity Lott, the great British soprano, when she was giving a recital in the legendary opera house & prestigious theatre, the 'Gran Teatre del Liceu'. Amongst the many write-up in the media highly praising her performance, most also included a brief biographical account of her life and artistic achievements was one I read, describing her as: "... mas inglesa que la abadía de Westminster; es una taza de te ambulante ...", translated it means: "... more English than the Westminster Abby; she is an itinerant (roving, wandering) cup of tea ...'.   I found that expression of the journalist very amusing. This example of identification of nationality has been used since time immemorial but, at times, it might escape somebody's notice, or be found beyond his understanding, thus leading to certain perplexity, unless the listener or reader is well acquainted with the particular country referred to and it's customs of the people.       Like the British themselves accept quite happily the reference to their country as a nation of tea drinkers (this accolade is shared by 'Chinese and Indians), the Spanish are associated with Paella or flamenco dancing; the Argentineans with Tango; The Chinese with fried rice or sweet and sour pork; the Russians with Vodka; even most of the Irish themselves seem to enjoy jokes about them as being drunkards or foolish. The Scots generally do not feel insulted being connected with whiskey, Haggis, the kilt, or the reputation, deserved or not, of being misers. Alas, not everybody nor always!     In one of my old Blogs, I remember having written something similar on this theme, mentioning that the Scots were labelled as mean, tight fisted. Well I didn't invent this myth or rumour or any such mean fun at the cost of others, I merely related the free running timeless joke, the kind I would tell to any of my Scottish friends face to face. But, a fellow Blogger, a Scot of course, flew off the handle writing me endless messages accusing me of saying nasty things about the Scots!       In fact I love the Scots, at least all those I have in some way been associated or in contact with, except one whom I sent to hell recently. In fact I have written more than one Blog praising their character and merits , and expressing my respect. But no, this guy refused to open his mind or eyes to see the truth. Another characteristic often associated with the Scots, blind stubbornness.       No doubt, if the same guy should happen to read this Blog, he might well launch at me another attack. Who knows, it might be his only fun in life. Who am I to deny him that?     Tags: Tea,NationalityStrait,Scot