Brothel - Or By Any Other Name ...

I decided to make my home in Spain after a few modelling jobs had introduced me to the enchanting Barcelona. It's love at first sight. I was utterly seduced by the slow pace of life, easy and pleasant, the jolly nature of the people, the happy go lucky attitude, the knack to see adversities simply as some inconveniences with a shrug of the shoulder, and carry on regardless, the healthy appetite for food and drinks and, most of all, the bright, warm and sunny weather most part of the year.

Roses, where I live now, with Girona being the capital city, rich in culture and heritage, is nothing more than a small coastal township, and a popular tourist spot for those who seek little more than constant sun and sandy beaches, with plenty of bars, restaurants, night clubs, discotheques, the marina, the golf club, and the famous Perelada Casino very near by.

I never knew until recently that it had also been considered Prostibulo de Europa'. No doubt you don't really need any translation for this Spanish word prostibulo' right? Yes, Brothel, Cat House, or by any other name. Sure I realized all along that prostitution existed here - what town and city in the world doesn't boast of a few? But what I didn't know was that here, where I live, part of the famous Alt Emporda, is crowned with such a "distinguished " title.

In the early days of my daily little trips going here and there, to familiarize myself with all the surrounding areas, I had noticed these sexily clad girls dotted about in the highways. What ridiculous spots to hang about or trying to get a ride I thought. It took only a very short moment to dawn on me that these ladies are offering rides not hitching one. Scenes like that having over the years been either wiped out, or the pick-up points have been moved somewhere else, these ladies are not seen any more. Now I know, they had been properly and comfortably housed.

I had also known about certain "clubs" operating in the suburbs, usually quite far away from centre of towns or villages, so as to be safer for wayward husbands not to have their cars spotted I supposed. And those of business men entertaining other businessmen from out of town too I guess. I learned about the distinction of Alt Emporda being 'The Whore House of Europe' only because the new Mayor of Pont de Molins, about 3 quarter hour ride from Roses, announced that he had officially established the ordinance prohibiting new openings of any such business, or expansion of existing ones; these were in fact given a short period to organise their permanent closure. He added (admitted?) that he had been under pressure by complaints of the collectives in the neighbourhood.

His speech was so clear and precise, even with all the addresses pointed out, including the highway numbers and exit points to get to them, that I can't help conjuring up a picture of these establishments with queues by the door all of them. Those guys who never knew where they were before and too shy or too cautious to ask, are now equipped with a clear map for all of them in the area to pick and choose or ,why not, try them all out! I am usually pretty dumb with maps and directions, but even I know where they all are now!

Maybe the mayor has a good heart. Before he closes them all up, he is giving them a last chance to make a little windfall first. After all, these poor souls need to relocate or job hunt now.

Tags:borthel,cathouse,Altemporda

• Current Mood: accomplished

Ilustrated Poems

The 16th edition of the annual event 'Barcelona Poesía' would soon be on again. The brand new novelty the 'Illustrated poems', in the year 2008, was proven so popular it has since been repeated each year. If graphic novels are enjoying triumph beyond all expectation, why not graphic poems indeed?

It's the brain child of Gabriel Panella and the artist Juanjo Saez. They had selected a good collection from more than 100 poems published in recent years by renowned poets, beautifully illustrated now, and these were pasted on the windows of 6 Barcelona metro trains for a whole week before the event, forming one of the 100 different activities, all have something to do with poems of course, during the popularly termed Poetry Week.

The idea is a fusion of popular art of the majority, the comics, and that of the minority, poetry. They were confident that it would combine perfectly and be appreciated by the public, even those who didn't normally read poems; they were right. Like the well loved musical comedies, harmonious combination of music and good laughs. I think good poetry is a form of music as well, to the senses and emotions, in a recital, even to the ears.

Tags:graphicpoems,poetryweek

• Current Mood: artistic

Employee evaluations ~

1. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargles

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered in a trap.

5. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

8. She sets low personal standards, then consistently fails to achieve them.

9. This employee should go far --- and the sooner he starts, the better.

10. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege: ~

** Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. Then he fell out of the family tree.

** A room temperature I.Q. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

** Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

** Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

** A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

** A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

** A prime candidate for natural de-selection. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

** Bright as Alaska in December.

** If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

Tags:evaluation,stupidity

• Current Mood: amused

Hot Air Balloon

A man in a hot air balloon, realising he was lost, reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended further and shouted to the lady:

'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The woman below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'

'You must be in IT,' said the balloonist.
'Actually I am,' replied the woman, 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip '.

The woman below responded, 'You must be in Management.'
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

'Well,' said the woman, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my bloody fault!!'

Tags:ballonist

• Current Mood: amused

Comments - Witty Or Sarcastic

** Meal Time In The Air ~

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

"What are my choices?' the man asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

** Ticket Control ~

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

** Buying A Turkey ~

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a passing assistant:

'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

'I'm afraid not, they're dead. 'The assistant replied.

** Speeding Driver ~

A policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

** The Bridge ~

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked up to the lorry and said to the driver:

'Got stuck, heh?'

The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

** Exam Excuses ~

A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked:
'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said:

'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand.'

Tags:airline,politechnic

• Current Mood: amused