I love Oxymorons and have posted a few fairly recently. I noticed that most people bypass it without feeling or even noting it's funny side. The dictionary definition of oxymoron is:- A rhetorical figure of speech in which contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs. However, with an oxymoron the incongruous word pairing conveys a truth or a dramatic result.
It is possible to sub-divide English oxymorons into three main categories:
a) Pure puns such as 'gourmet pizza'.
B) Accidents, like 'an original copy'.
c) Paradoxes, my favourite example is 'serious joke'.
d) An alternative zany definition for an oxymoron: One who forgets to breathe!
The word oxymoron is derived from the Greek oxyumōros, which means 'obviously foolish', a Latin equivalent would be: contradiction in terminus. Incidentally, the related word sideroxylon specifically refers to a mismatch between the noun and its adjective, like 'cold fire'.
Here are a batch of amusing ones: ~
- Freezer burn, caused by liquid gas, created an anxious patient
- Open secret - clearly confused
- Found missing - minor crisis averted
- Tight slacks - Pretty ugly
- We climbed down into a blocked drain
- Soft rock, as shown on educational television
- Monopoly (Mono Poly?) And why is there only one monopolies commission?
- Head butt
Funny requests - Examples of Oxymorons at work ~ There are funny requests that are often given to newbies, or as part of initiative rites for new employees. Other names for this mischief include: fool's errand, snipe hunt or a wild goose chase. You can picture the scenario, 'Hey Sonny, go down to the stores and ask Joe for a dozen ...'
- Threadless screws
- Half-round squares
- Long weights (wait!)
- Hen's teeth
- Eels' feet
- Bags of steam
- Gallons of dehydrated water
- Left-handed hammers
- Shelf stretchers
- Muffler bearings, or a piston return springs
- Sky hooks - low cloud type
- Bubbles for spirit levels
- Jars of elbow grease
- Striped paint
- Gallons of jet wash
