I love Oxymorons and have posted a few fairly recently. I noticed that most people bypass it without feeling or even noting it's funny side. The dictionary definition of oxymoron is:- A rhetorical figure of speech in which contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs. However, with an oxymoron the incongruous word pairing conveys a truth or a dramatic result.
It is possible to sub-divide English oxymorons into three main categories:
a) Pure puns such as 'gourmet pizza'.
B) Accidents, like 'an original copy'.
c) Paradoxes, my favourite example is 'serious joke'.
a) Pure puns such as 'gourmet pizza'.
B) Accidents, like 'an original copy'.
c) Paradoxes, my favourite example is 'serious joke'.
d) An alternative zany definition for an oxymoron: One who forgets to breathe!
The word oxymoron is derived from the Greek oxyumōros, which means 'obviously foolish', a Latin equivalent would be: contradiction in terminus. Incidentally, the related word sideroxylon specifically refers to a mismatch between the noun and its adjective, like 'cold fire'.
Here are a batch of amusing ones: ~
- Freezer burn, caused by liquid gas, created an anxious patient
- Open secret - clearly confused
- Found missing - minor crisis averted
- Tight slacks - Pretty ugly
- We climbed down into a blocked drain
- Soft rock, as shown on educational television
- Monopoly (Mono Poly?) And why is there only one monopolies commission?
- Head butt
There are funny requests that are often given to newbies, or as part of initiative rites for new employees. Other names for this mischief include: fool's errand, snipe hunt or a wild goose chase. You can picture the scenario, 'Hey Sonny, go down to the stores and ask Joe for a dozen ...'
- Threadless screws
- Half-round squares
- Long weights (wait!)
- Hen's teeth
- Eels' feet
- Bags of steam
- Gallons of dehydrated water
- Left-handed hammers
- Shelf stretchers
- Muffler bearings, or a piston return springs
- Sky hooks - low cloud type
- Bubbles for spirit levels
- Jars of elbow grease
- Striped paint
- Gallons of jet wash
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