Philsbury Doughboy's Obituary

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 73. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects at his funeral, including Mrs Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies. Captain Crunch sent his apologies. The grave-site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy in the graveyard and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who did not realize how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, even as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Playa Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 2:50 for about 20 minutes.

Tags:Philsbury,Obituary

Current Mood: Amused

Mirror World & Other Experimental Films

It is quite incredible to think that in 1895, the public of the Grand Cafe in Paris assisted, dumbfounded at the very first projection of the Lumiere brothers. Their reactions, from the most effusive admiration to the most genuine horror, foreboding an uncertain journey for the Celluloid industry, such as believed by the inventors themselves "wouldn't have any future" so sentenced.

Much water has passed under the bridge since then. Even today, there are still cinematographically defying work that arouse opposition, or fall into the oblivion without seeing the light of day. The experimental films, branded as critical or elite, are perhaps the most representative examples, put together at the margin of the producers and the current market.

However, beyond the limitation, this type of films has converted to ways of expression of the individuals and collectives, through visual and alternative resources and new possibilities of story telling. The biennial meeting Xperimenta'09 unites experts and professionals during 4 days, in the CCCB Debate Centre, to study and discuss all the present day aspects, ways and means on the subject. Directors, Spanish and foreign, will interchange impressions and ideas on possibilities of contemporary audiovisual projects, to pave the way for their production to reach a greater public.

The films presented for discussion were: 'Phantom fremdes wien', of the Austrian director Lisl Ponger, 'Instructions for a light and sound machine' of Peter Tscherkassky, 'This living thing' by the American Bruce McClure, and on the last day, 'Mirror World' by the American director Abigail Child. (photo below)

I am very much a fan of independent or experimental films. More often than not I am pleasantly entertained if not exactly surprised or ecstatically delighted.

Tags:experimental,mirror

Current Mood: Artistic

The Baptist Cowboy & The Flight Attendant

** The Baptist Cowboy
A cowboy who is visiting Wyoming from Nevada, walks into a bar and orders 3 mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finises them, he comes back to the bar and orders 3 more.

The bartender approaches and and tells the cowboy, 'You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.'

The cowboy replies, 'Well, you see, I have 2 brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Nevada, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.'

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom. and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders 3 mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders 2 mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar the second round, he bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.'

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. 'Oh, no, everybody's just fine,' he explains, 'It's just that my wife and I joined the baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.' He took another sip.

'Hasn't affected my brothers though.'

** The Flight Attendant

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767 had been withdrawn from service. An angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I have to be on this flight and it has to be first class.'

The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.'

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear. 'Do you have any idea who I am?'

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone:

'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

'We have a passenger here at Gate number 14, who does not know who he is. If any of you can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.'

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F*** You.'

Without flinching, she smiled and said, 'I'm sorry, Sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.'

Tags:attendant,cowboy

Current Mood: Amused

Housewife Superspy

I think we all know and remember the the Boss lady M. (Judy Dench) in the James Bond film. But very few, maybe none of us know the name of the real veteran spy on whom Judy Dench's screen character was based. She is Stella Rimington, ex director of (MI5) the British Secret Service. A very elegant and intelligent lady, with great sense of humour, approachable, and her life story is definitely most interesting and fascinating. Retired at 73 years old, she was in Spain to promote her novel based on her own true life experiences.

For more than 20 years she had worked in divisions of the British National Espionage unit (Anti espionage, Anti subversion, and Anti terrorism), as general director of the intelligence services, being the 1st female in the history occupying such a position, permitted to access all secret information and world events first hand, and authority to act or intervene. With the MI5's later adapted more 'open' attitude, she told her amazing true life story in a novel through her alter ego, the secret agent Liz Carlyle.

Rimington's personal experience and her book assume greater degree of transparency and opens up the up to recently tightly closed doors of the MI5 secret services, although, all her chapters had been carefully reviewed and examined by the MI5, just in case she revealed something she shouldn't.

She started off as a typist, then in charge of filing important documents. In the old days, there's no offer of employment in such secret government offices. You didn't apply there for jobs; they would find you if they wanted you. Her husband was a diplomat and he was the only one that knew her identity as secret agent, not their 2 daughters. They were greatly surprised when they saw in the press that their mother was nominated general director of the MI5 and the press had called her 'Housewife SuperSpy'.

Tags:Superspy,MI5

Current Mood: Accomplished