Thursday, 2 February 2012

2nd Feb 2012 Bungling Thieves

Feb 02A
A bank robber in Virginia Beach Virginia, USA got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his trousers. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door.

A police spokesman informed that 'He was seen hopping and jumping around with an explosion taking place inside his pants.'
Police have the man's charred trousers safely in custody!

That reminds of more strange, funny or bungling burglar stories near & far: ~
 
1. Investigating a purse snatching in Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an ID. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, 'Yeah, that's the woman I robbed.'

2. In Nashville, they tell of a burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

3. In Thibodaux, Louisiana, a robber with a thick Cajun accent couldn't get restaurant patrons to understand his demand for money. Frustrated, he whipped out his gun, but it wouldn't fire. Grabbing the cash register, he ran ... but got only three feet before falling down. The register was still plugged into the wall. Unplugging it, he tried again, but a diner knocked him to the floor and called the police.

4. In Rhode Island, police were sure they had the right man when the suspect in a string of coin-machine thefts paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters.

5. Texas authorities, responding to a store robbery, seized a man who was fleeing naked. He said he'd stripped after the job because he figured his clothes would make him identifiable.
 
6. In Lawrence, Kansas, officers tracked a midnight thief who prided himself on his running speed by following the red lights on his high-tech tennis shoes.

7. In Virginia, a janitor went to great lengths to avoid ID. in a "Seven-Eleven" robbery, using a ski mask and rental car for the occasion. But he also wore his work uniform, which said "Cedar Woods Apartments" and had his name, Dwayne, stitched across the front.

8. Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

9. A robber, in a town in Germany, was caught after he escaped with his swag but he left his trousers behind. Police successfully arrested him at a railway station trying to board a train in his underpants. You couldn't invent these funny occurrences.
 
10.A bungling Australian car thief was nabbed after accidentally locking himself in the vehicle he was trying to steal in Adelaide, Australia.
 
Prev: 2nd Feb 2012 Cars, Miss Whiplash & The Apache Woman

2nd Feb 2012 Cars, Miss Whiplash, & The Apache Woman

Feb 02

What to do about cars speeding in villages? ~
The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying: 'Slow down Old People's Home'. It had no effect.

At the next meeting the decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign: 'Danger - Children at Play'. The result was no discernable reduction in traffic speed.

Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with: 'Nudist Colony'. As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, white vans and lorries crawl thought the village.
Facts are stranger than fiction - Miss Whiplash ~ Miss Whiplash - Traffic calming littledean

Andy Jones decided to put into practice the idea of slowing down motorists with an eye catching statement. Mr Jones of Littledean, Gloucestershire, England decided to use a manikin model instead of a written sign. What makes this more complicated and more interesting is that Mr Jones owns a crime museum, and his model is 'Miss Whiplash'. She certainly turns heads. 

Councillor Bernie Giles takes the view that 'Miss Whiplash' is not necessary, and other believe that she may cause more accidents than she prevents.

FreyaGood deal for Freya ~
Freya was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.
'It's a bottle of whiskey that I got for my husband.'
The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'

Motorway Problem ~

As Retired Lieutenant Commander Andrew Craig was driving his old car down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 

'Andrew, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M275. Please be careful!' 

'Botheration, 'said Andrew, 'Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!'

Prev: 2nd Feb 2012 Surfing Dog

2nd Feb 2012 Surfing Dog

Sound on. Forget your worries, this is  1/2 minutes of pure happiness ...
Don't miss especially the last solo performance.
Prev: 1st Feb 2012 Draw A Stickman & Watch Him Come Alive (Stolen From Bob)