2nd Feb 2012 Cars, Miss Whiplash, & The Apache Woman

What to do about cars speeding in villages? ~

The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying: 'Slow down Old People's Home'. It had no effect.

At the next meeting the decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign: 'Danger - Children at Play'. The result was no discernable reduction in traffic speed.

Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with: 'Nudist Colony'. As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, white vans and lorries crawl thought the village.

Facts are stranger than fiction - Miss Whiplash ~

Andy Jones decided to put into practice the idea of slowing down motorists with an eye catching statement. Mr Jones of Littledean, Gloucestershire, England decided to use a manikin model instead of a written sign. What makes this more complicated and more interesting is that Mr Jones owns a crime museum, and his model is 'Miss Whiplash'. She certainly turns heads. 

Councillor Bernie Giles takes the view that 'Miss Whiplash' is not necessary, and other believe that she may cause more accidents than she prevents.

Good deal for Freya ~

Freya was driving her Chevrolet Vega home in New Mexico when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car. Freya tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman.

The old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.

'What's in the bag?' asked the old woman.

'It's a bottle of whiskey that I got for my husband.'

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'

Motorway Problem ~

As Retired Lieutenant Commander Andrew Craig was driving his old car down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 

'Andrew, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M275. Please be careful!' 

'Botheration, 'said Andrew, 'Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!'

Tags: misswhiplash, cars, whiskey

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