Q's & A's And Female Logic

** Q's & A's ~ What is the difference between a banker and a pigeon? The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Ferrari. What is the difference between a bonus for a good driver and a good banker? A driver loses the bonus after an accident. What's the difference between a boxer and a woman? A boxer stands up to get knocked down, and a woman lies down to get knocked up. ** Female Logic ~ After being married for 41 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, 'Honey, 41 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 22-year-old gal.' Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.' My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 22-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve a mid-life crisis... PRICELESS!!!!! Tag:femaleLogic

Current Mood: Amused

What Is A Baby's life Worth?

I have always thought and still think that a human life is priceless, anybody's life. But apparently a baby's life is reckoned to be worth €66,000 - at least that's what the Court of Justice decided. In a case concluded in which a gynaecologist was charged of imprudence causing the death of a baby at the time of birth.

The defendant admitted her guilt and was sentenced to pay €1,080 for minor imprudence and €66,000 compensation to the parents of the deceased baby. The prosecution had previously asked for 2 years of jail and 3 years of disqualification. But an agreement had been reached between the 2 parties before the day of sentencing.

The incident happened in a few years ago when a woman went in labour in the hospital, 'The Clinic' in Barcelona. At the end of 6 hours the woman was in distress with the difficulty of labour, and the doctor, the accused, instead of opting for caesarian, decided to provoke the birth process by means of forceps, a decision often correct and necessary, but highly risky nevertheless. It was unfortunately so in this case and the baby died of insufficiency of oxygen in the brain and obstruction in breathing.

The doctor had asked forgiveness in court of the parents, who had since had a miscarriage then subsequently, eventually, had a healthy baby son. Nobody can say it's a happy ending, there's no winner. Nor even correct or just. One really has to be in the shoes of those parents to know how they feel about the baby they lost. With the cash in hand is the pain any less, more bearable or, more of a reminder of the extremely sad memory; or if they could really enjoyed the money.

 

Tags:gynaecologist,baby

Current Mood: Cynical

Clever Blonde, Dumb Blonde

Blond Detectives A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he has only one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he has only one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "For God's sake, what’s the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?!?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "Now think hard before giving me a stupid answer. This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...The suspect wears contact lenses..." The policeman is surprised and speechless.. . "Wow! I can't believe it ... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation? ?" "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he has only one eye and one ear..." Blonde goes Ice Fishing This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" The Blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" She stopped, looked skyward, and said, " Is that you, Lord?" The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE ICE RINK MANAGER!" Wanna Hear A Blonde Joke? A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things ..... 1 - The bartender is a hefty blonde girl. 2 - The bouncer is a blonde gal. 3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter. 5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler. Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah...Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." Tags:blondejokes

Current Mood: Amused

Crowning Glory Of The Easter Parade

I have seen an annual Easter Fashion Parade in the streets of Barcelona, a few years back, most elegant & spectacular. Even though I had only seen one, I can still recall the scene and atmosphere the show incited and edged in my memory. At midday 180 people convened, assembled by the famous scenographer and hat specialists Nina Pawlowsky and Cristina de Prada, for the 5th Hat parade. Inspired by 'Easter Parade', the musical film of 1948, starred by the golden quartet of the era: Fred Astaire, Judy Garland, Ann Miller and Peter Lawford. That film was based in turn on the traditional Easter Parade that celebrates annually on the 5th Avenue of New York, in front of the San Patricio Cathedral.

The participants of that parade in Barcelona started off in front of the show windows of Gratacos, in the centre of the city, that leisurely sauntered, rather than marched, around the main avenues, informal but very elegantly dressed, with the most eye catching hats, the real stars and the biggest attraction. A bit like the famous annual Derby at the race court of England. Except that this was outdoors for the public, not having to pay colossal ticket price to get in, and be 'somebody' important enough to get to the spot that matters. Another difference, gentlemen could take part too, although they were of the very small minority and far more conservative in styles.

The ladies were all out to have a grand day, displaying their very colourful hats of innovative designs, ladylike or fanciful, tiny or outrageously enormous, discreet or pure fantasy ... while the city streets instantly took on a cheerful and festive atmosphere.

I would have had great fun joining it; hats have always been one of my favourite dress items. A pity that I wasn't born in the era of the 18th century, to fulfil my desire of wearing hats as daily wear. I still own quite a number of hats. They decorate my rooms now rather than me!

The TV News channel showed lovely hats but those published in the local paper looked rather ordinary! The photographer that covered the event was decidedly inapt for his job I would say.

Tag:easterparade

Current Mood: Artistic