To Die Of Success

 I noticed another much used phrase recently, on newspaper articles, group debates, radio broadcasts, casual conversations ... that somebody or something ' ... died, or is dying, of success'.Suddenly anything and everything that has been successful seem to run the risk of dying of it! How this actually kills nobody has elaborated, but the phrase has become so in Vogue that it hangs on everybody's tongue; you can almost see it permanently on the ready to pop out.

Maybe it has always been there but I was not aware of until recent months; can't pin-point exactly when though. A film, a concert, books, an author, a politician, Formula 1, a football match, a supermarket ... could be anybody or anything. It gives the impression that it's an epidemic, that if one doesn't take the utmost caution, it would actually kill you, because to resuscitate after you die is an extremely complicated business.

There's this other danger, isn't there, following the same theory, that the cliche itself, being so successfully popular, would die soon enough, precisely because of it's success. That's how cliches run their course, a passing fad, until some other cliches are born, taking the place of the ones on the slippery slope and die.

Disturbing news I read today: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, with absolutely no recollection of what they are supposed to do with them.

Current Mood: Awake

To Die Of Success

 I noticed another much used phrase recently, on newspaper articles, group debates, radio broadcasts, casual conversations ... that somebody or something ' ... died, or is dying, of success'.Suddenly anything and everything that has been successful seem to run the risk of dying of it! How this actually kills nobody has elaborated, but the phrase has become so in Vogue that it hangs on everybody's tongue; you can almost see it permanently on the ready to pop out.

Maybe it has always been there but I was not aware of until recent months; can't pin-point exactly when though. A film, a concert, books, an author, a politician, Formula 1, a football match, a supermarket ... could be anybody or anything. It gives the impression that it's an epidemic, that if one doesn't take the utmost caution, it would actually kill you, because to resuscitate after you die is an extremely complicated business.

 

There's this other danger, isn't there, following the same theory, that the cliche itself, being so successfully popular, would die soon enough, precisely because of it's success. That's how cliches run their course, a passing fad, until some other cliches are born, taking the place of the ones on the slippery slope and die.

Disturbing news I read today: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, with absolutely no recollection of what they are supposed to do with them.

Tags:success,clichés,Alzheimer,Viagra

• Current Mood: awake

First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read this tale. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter..... Snowing and quite cold..... The guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or It would BE the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was " freezing her butt off " and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they were also faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, while her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down.'

And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment ... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Tags; freezingbutt,pissoff,JayLeno

• Current Mood: amused

The Oyster & The Pearl

No I am not obsessed with oysters; it's pure coincidence, honestly. I was talking about oysters in my earlier Blog today as oddity in the use of exclamations, then I read about this little creature again today. Casa Hidalgo (This name in Spanish means Nobleman or Squire's House) is a Bar/Restaurant in Sitges, Barcelona. A family business for 25 years and very popular with the locals. Yesterday, apart from the many usual clients, some reporters showed up, even with photographers in tow, taking pictures to record a rare 'event'.

Josep Rosell is a regular customer who eats there several time every week. Yesterday he ordered one of his favourite starters, half a dozen oysters. The very first one he opened up, he got the biggest and happiest surprise in his life, sitting prettily right in one corner of the shell was a perfectly shaped, rather big, bright, round and beautiful pearl, still attached to the membranes of the oyster. A natural pearl. Even in the black and white photo it looks shiny.

Considering the fact that it's extremely rare for natural pearl to be found inside of an oyster, as the studied statistics say it's one pearl in each 15,000 oysters. Nearly all the ones sold as jewellery stores are cultivated ones. Natural pearls are formed only when an foreign object has somehow got into, and attached to the tissue or membrane inside an oyster, totally by chance. To combat the irritation caused by the invasion of this foreign body, the oyster segregates what's called nacre, a sheeny substance that wraps up the foreign body, which evolves and grows with it to become a natural pearl. The eventual size and colour of this depends on that of the foreign object that has taken up residence inside the oyster.

Jose Yanez, the owner of the seafood bar, said that for less than one year, this is the 2nd Tim a natural pearl had been found in the oysters he sold in the bar, never before in the previous 20+ years. The lucky customer was so happy he didn't even want to take the pearl out, but said he wanted to find means of preserving it as it is, inside and attached to the oyster.

How he could achieve this is beyond me, as the oyster is now dead! I guess he has to consult various experts for this venture, the ones who know all there's to know about oysters, and those who can suggest the correct and viable ways to preserve them both, the oyster and the pearl.

Tags:oyster,pearl,bar

• Current Mood: cheerful

Truisms, Witticisms, Just Funny Thoughts

** Never try to teach a pig to sing - it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

** Cats know more than they let on.

** Beginning a sentence, "Now, don't get angry..." will always have the reverse effect.

** You can't skip and be unhappy at the same time.

** Never ever mix sleeping pills and laxatives.

** Never go to Dudley. It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from there.

** Nobody has ever read the small print of a mobile-phone insurance contract.

** There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither works.

** Too many cooks spoil the TV schedules.

** Nothing productive can come from just nipping in for a quick pint at two in the afternoon.

** There's nothing you could wish for in life that you couldn't buy from a man in a pub.

** You can live your life through a computer.

** Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit ... but it's still funny.

** People who say, "I'm beside myself," are often mistaken; with the notable exception of time travellers and Siamese twins.

Ricky, Tony, and Leroy were out riding their bikes in downtown Chicago when a fire engine zoomed past with blaring sirens.
The three boys spotted an Alsatian dog on the front seat of the fire engine.
Ricky commented, "They use that dog to control sightseers."
"No," said Tony, "he's just for good luck."
But Leroy knew better, "No, that's not it," he said. "The dog is there to point the firemen to the nearest fire hydrant!"

Tags:true,false,wit,fun

• Current Mood: amused

Oyster, Clam, Rice, Mango & Rain

I never ceased to be amazed at the many colourful and varied exclamations uttered in any language, the significance of which are extremely clear to those who use them and those who hear them, but the actual words used are sometimes confusing, ambiguous and often have little or nothing to do with the sentiment felt or expressed.

Like 'Ostras!' heard often here in Catalunya but not sure whether it's used in other parts of Spain as well, which means Oysters, and exclaimed to express great surprise, incredulity, amazement, elation, extreme exaltation or great disappoint. Now where is the logic if the same word is used to represent totally opposite state of mind about situations of contrasting extremes?

What's more, what oysters have got to do with anything?? I suppose that's like the expression in English 'No, you don't say!', to mean more or less the same thing in similar situations. Always immediately after somebody has just SAID' something!

Or, another English expression that someone is 'as happy as a clam'. Are clams always happy? How do we know that? They don't smile, laugh or jump about when they are, do they? And, why a clam and not say, a crab? Does it have to be a sea creature?

In Costa Rica people say 'Rice with Mango' to describe a mess, or a mixed up situation, people or things that shouldn't be put together but did by mistake or oversight. Why rice and mango and not for instance potato with banana?

And what about the English who say 'as right as rain'? To mean everything is just fine or right as it should be. Considering most people associate bright and happy state with sunshine and clear skies, why is rain so right? Does one feel healthy and happy only when soaking wet? I feel happiest wallowing in a warm bathtub with scented bubble foams and pretty miserable when caught in the rain.

When one sneezes, people around you would immediately say 'Bless you' in England, 'Jesus' or 'Salud' (Jesus and health, respectively) in Spain, 'Gesunheit' (good health) in Germany. Why only when you sneeze and not when you cough? Or when you hiccup?

My question to all that and hundreds more examply exclamations is: When, How, Why, and by Whom especially these were originated? It's only logical to assume that every one of these expressions must have had some element or reason to be linked with these words chosen, and not others, right? So this Mr. or Mrs. Mysterious suddenly decided to say something irrelevant to someone else's biologically unavoidable action, and everybody else unquestionably decided to follow suit thereon after? Why?

A coffee bar I sometimes frequent is called 'Poke Te Crek' which, in Catalan, means more or less the same as 'You don't say!', 'Really?' or 'You are pulling my leg!'. Literally it means 'I don't (or can't) believe you (it, that.)'. I had asked the proprietor and waiters but, other than a shrug and a smile, never did get a proper answer.

None of all these is important to me, nor to anyone else to be sure. I just can't help being curious. And, by the way, the Spanish don't pull legs; their equivalent to 'You are pulling my leg!' when referring to a practical joke played on somebody is 'pulling hair'!

Tags:sayings,exclamations,why,who

• Current Mood: thoughtful