Why's And What's ...

** Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

 

** Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

 

** Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

 

** What do people in China call their good quality plates?

 

** Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

 

** What do you call male ballerinas?

 

** Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

 

** If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

 

** If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

 

** Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Tags: Why?What?

Divorce Polish Style

Polish man moved to the U.S. and married an American girl.Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well, until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him, "very quick."

 

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions ...

 

Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"

Polish Man: "Ja, Ja, acre and half and nice little home."

 

Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

Polish Man: "It made of concrete."

 

Lawyer: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

Polish Man: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

Lawyer: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

Polish Man: "All my relations still in Poland."

 

Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

Polish Man: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

 

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?"

Polish Man: "No, I always up before her."

 

Lawyer: "Is your wife a nagger?"

Polish Man: "No, she white."

Lawyer: "Why do you want this divorce?"

Polish Man: "She going to kill me."

Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"

Polish Man: "I got proof.

 

Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"

Polish Man: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read and it say, Polish Remover."

Tag: PolishDivorce

Deja Moo - Silly Puns

** Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

** Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

 

** A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

 

** A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

** Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

** Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

 

** Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

 

** What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

 

** A jump-start cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything.

 

** "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual.

 

** Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Ermentrude, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Ermentrude.

"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

 

** The invisible man marries the invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

 

** I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

 

** I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

 

** " Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.