If, Like Me, You Are A Chocolate Addict ...

All You Need To Know About Eating Chocolate:

§ If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

§ Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, which is good for you, so eat as many as you want.

§ The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car?

The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

§ Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

§ If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

§ If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

§ Money talks. Chocolate sings.

§ Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

§ Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

§ A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

§ If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

§ Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocolates Anonymous?
§ A: Because no one wants to quit.

Tags:choc-addict

Current Mood: Cheerful

Money, Money, Money

As a mere observer who knows little on the topic, I find that the present economic crisis affect some people's head, not their pockets. Then there are those whose pockets are definitely affected, but not their heads. They still keep their cool and goes about their daily life cheerfully and complaining less. One simple fact might just be that they have less to lose. When one of the first group happens to share a few drinks or a meal with one from the second group, almost always it's the one with less in the wallet that pays the bill, or at least seems more willing to.

This can be deduced to mean that the poor is thus more indebted, contributing to the rising of indices of tardiness, while those who could make the congested money circular choose to put their money in the deposit accounts, or hidden under the bed, collaborating the worsening of catarrh or the constipated economy, of which we are all victims. Not that I understand much about how economy works, but it's simple to see some of it's complexity; when money stays put, it stays put, however much laxative one applies.

In terms of the society, if the crisis is of the right party, the left must pay for the damage, if it's provoked by the capital, the working class has to suffer the consequences; if the crisis is induced by the bad, the good has to carry it forward. Is that why I see a strange sign, huge and in brilliant red, put out by the Town Hall of Barcelona, on the middle of a busy shopping area, on which it simply say:

' Go ahead, buy something! '

Tags:crisis,money

Current Mood: Awake

Not That Size Matters

There's something mysterious about dogs. It's not normal, from the point of view of the rest of animals that, within the same species exists such huge variation in their size. They are mammals with the biggest difference of stature, and the fact that such a great variety of them cohabit, from the smallest like Chihuahua to the biggest as Saint Bernard, has always fascinated the scientists. In human version, a Chihuahua would be like a human adult of half a metre in height, while a Saint Bernard would be one and a quarter metre.

A group of American scientists seemed to have found the key factor to explain such diversity in size of dogs. According to an old magazine I found, 'Science', it published that all the dogs of small breed, shared a part of the mutation of their DNA, situated in the chromosome 15, on the regulated sequence it's on the side of IGFI (whatever that is I haven't a clue), which produces the kind of hormone of growth in dogs, as well as in rats or humans. What the regulated sequence does is diminish the effect of the gene IGFI, in the way that those dogs that have the mutation would have their growth limited. It works like the bandage put on women's feet in ancient China, impeding the normal growth of the extremities.

The big dogs also have the gene IGFI, but in their case, there's no mutation, so the hormone of growth acts normally. Some other genes not yet identified are also implicated in large breed of dogs.

The participating scientists in this study, led by the University of Utah, had analysed the DNA of more than 3,000 dogs of 143 breeds. At that time, they had not identified the exact mutation in the regulating sequence of the DNA which reduces the effect of the gene IGFI, but they had found small pieces of genetic material to serve as model, to locate causes of diseases like diabetes, cancer or arthritis. They said future investigation would centre on identification of genes related to the dog's behaviour and diseases.

That magazine is 6 years old. I guess by now they have learned a lot more. I hope nobody tries to interfere and change their vastly different sizes, whatever else they do. Variety and differences in animals, as well as in human, make the world far more interesting.

Yeap, the little one too is a dog!

Tags:Chihuahua,SaintBernard

Current Mood: Chipper

Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

You can keep one gun at home and have another for  when you're on the road.

If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

Guns function normally every day of the month.

A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without having problems.

A handgun doesn't care how big your trigger finger is.

A handgun won't tell all of its friends if you are a "little fast on the trigger."
YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Tags:women,guns

Current Mood: Amused

Wisdom & Wisecracks

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he's crossing

a one-way street. Or, he could be a well-informed optimist.

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A man was injected with a deadly poison, but, it did not kill him. Why?

He was already dead!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An English teacher wrote these words on the blackboard:

"woman without her man is nothing".

He then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

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Mark called in to see his Scottish friend Angus, to find he was stripping

the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked:

"You're decorating, I see." to which Angus replied

"No. I'm moving house."

Tags:optimist,pessimist

Current Mood: Amused