A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he's crossing
a one-way street. Or, he could be a well-informed optimist.
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A man was injected with a deadly poison, but, it did not kill him. Why?
He was already dead!
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An English teacher wrote these words on the blackboard:
"woman without her man is nothing".
He then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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Mark called in to see his Scottish friend Angus, to find he was stripping
the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked:
"You're decorating, I see." to which Angus replied
"No. I'm moving house."
Current Mood: 
Amused
Amused
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