Fancy A Stiff Drink?

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: 'MOUNT & DO'

Recent survey says that there is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Tags:Viagra,Alzheimer,BreastImplant

• Current Mood: amused

How Logical Is The English Language?

** The market garden was designed to produce produce.

** The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

** In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.

** The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.

** Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

** Chloe was too close to the door to close it.

** When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.

** How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?

** Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.

** In terms of weight lead is in the lead.

** Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

** When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

** Why do our noses run but our feet smell?

** I did not object to the object.

** Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.

** Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?

Tags:English,Logic

• Current Mood: amused

Weather Snippets

** What is the Mexican weather report?

Chilli today and hot tamale.

** A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello ...?How the heck do I know? What do you think I am, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

** There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

** Summer in the UK usually demonstrated like this:

"Hello, did you have a good Summer?"

Yes indeed, we had a great barbecue that afternoon.

** One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice:

"Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy!"

Tags: Giggles Weather

• Current Mood: amused