All
too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight
'safety lecture' a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples of
funny airline cabin crew announcements:
**
On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit
where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing,
when a flight attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking
out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!'
**
On a Continental Flight with a very 'senior' flight attendant crew, the
pilot said, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and
will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.'
**
On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have.
** 'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane'
**
'Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed
giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.'
**
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone
voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella. WHOA!'
**
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
flight attendant on a Northwest flight a announced, 'Please take care
when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like
that, sure as hell everything has shifted.'
**
From a Southwest Airlines employee: 'Welcome aboard Southwest Flight
245 to Tampa . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and,
if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in
public unsupervised.'
**
'In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite.'
**
'Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.'
**
'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
compliments.'
Tags: announcements, aircrew
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