20th Mar 2012 A Man & His Dog

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit.

He wrote:

'I would very much like to bring my dog With me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?'

 

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:

'SIR:

I have operated this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel.

And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here too.

Tags: man, dog, hotel

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20th Mar 2012 Senior's Car Window Stickers

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Tags: carstickers

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20th Mar 2012 'Laughter Lover' - Jokes From History

The Philgelos or "Laughter-lover" is probably the oldest compilation of jokes in existence; it contains some 265 jokes. It is said that the famous Monty Python Parrot sketch has its origins in a joke told in the Philogelos.

1) Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights.

2) It appears that shortest war on record was between Zanzibar and Britain in 1896. Zanzibar (now part of Tanzania) surrendered after just 38 minutes.

3) What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?

Floodlights and Ark lights

4) What English King invented the fireplace ?

Alfred the Grate.

5) How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

6) I'm desperately trying to establish why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

7) Last words from a general in the American Civil War,

'Nonsense. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist ……………'

8) Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied,

'In silence.' (From the Philogelos)

9) What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe?

One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood. (The Victorians enjoyed jokes like this one)

10) Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said,

'I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.' - Dated to the (Philogelos 4th Century CE)

One that almost got away ~

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?
He liked to chop and change.

Tags: laughterlover

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