Q. What became of the man who had a funny accident?
A. He was in stitches.
Q. What's a quick snack for a cannibal?
A. A sandwich-man.
Q. What makes more noise than a pig stuck under a gate?
A. Two pigs stuck under a gate.
Q. Who works with a will?
A. A lawyer.
Q. When does a soldier go to pieces?
A. When he's in quarters.
Q. What turns without moving?
A. Milk.
Q. What is the principal part of a horse?
A. The mane part.
Q. How can you take 2 letters away from a 4 letter word and have 4 left?
A. Take F and E from FIVE, leaving IV.
Q. Why did the window box?
A. Because it saw the garden fence.
Q. What's the most athletic vegetable?
A. Running beans.
Q. What's green and jumps around the garden?
A. A spring cabbage.
Q. Why was the billiard-player late?
A. He missed his cue.
Q. Is smoking always harmful?
A. No. It can cure kippers.
Q. What must you always fight to get?
A. A black eye.
Q. If a swan sings a swan song, what does a cygnet sing?
A. A signature tune.
Q. Why is a spectator like a beehive?
A. Because a spectator is a beholder; and a bee-holder is a beehive.
